Is Age A Factor?

[OhioCouple]

Here is another one of my bizzare questions.

Up until recently I had a definite non negotiable guideline of not wanting to meet or play with under the age of 40 as I felt we would have nothing in common with them and it just seemed strange to be around people the ages of your children. In the last couple of months that has changed as I have met with and conversed with people in their twenties that have more common sense than some that I have met in our age groups....Sooooo (Bet you thought I'd never get to the point )

Is age a factor in your choice of partners? Do you have a guideline set that you adhere to?

Lori

[sexypairca]

I think subconsciously or even consciously age IS a factor for us. Wife prefers older men, but once you hit that 50 number, it is too freaky for us - that's like mom and dad's age!

Similarly, while younger couples many times may exhibit that maturity and common sense level, we find that more times they don't.

We have young children so we generally gravitate to that age group and circumstance because there are commonalities to explore in a friendship way (outside of the lifestyle). We don't have a babysitter is a legitimate excuse to us, and those who are not in that situation truly do not understand or even believe it.

We are not averse to having friends that do not share our circumstances, and we have made some good friendships there, but having said that, we don't necessarily seek out those that are in radically different age brackets.

[dave_susie2001]

Originally posted by OhioCouple
...met with and conversed with people in their twenties that have more common sense than some that I have met in our age groups....

This situation happened to us a few times as well. I am 37 and Susie is 36. We swore that we would never swing with anyone in thier early 20's because the maturity level just wouldn't be there. However, we met a couple (she was 19 and he was 22) and they had more maturity than some of the couples that we have met in our own age group.

The oposite of what sexypairca mentioned, I dont' think we'll swing with them as they are too close to our daugther's age (18) and that would be too freaky for me.

Other than that issue, we don't have any hard and fast rules for age when considering playmates. Granted, age affects other physical atributes of the body which we find appealing or not, so I guess in an indirect way, age would become a consideration.

[CanadianCouple]

Originally posted by OhioCouple
Here is another one of my bizzare questions.

Up until recently I had a definite non negotiable guideline of not wanting to meet or play with under the age of 40 as I felt we would have nothing in common with them and it just seemed strange to be around people the ages of your children. In the last couple of months that has changed as I have met with and conversed with people in their twenties that have more common sense than some that I have met in our age groups....Sooooo (Bet you thought I'd never get to the point )

Is age a factor in your choice of partners? Do you have a guideline set that you adhere to?

Lori

Generally, we don't entertain the possibility of swinging with anyone much under the age of 35 (we're 45 and 43). Not to say we'd never make exceptions, but that's our guideline as far as minimum age goes.

Although you didn't specifically ask, we'll go up to 60 for a maximum.

Dan

[CanadianCouple]

A follow up to my reply -- One very possible exception was a couple we met a couple of years ago at a function. We were there sitting with another couple, when in walked a second couple, probably in their late 20's or so. She was a large woman (not to evoke that dreaded weight topic again), but had bright blonde hair and was cute as a button. She just had that certain aura about her. My oh my, but was Dan smitten. Later on in the pool, she began talking to Janette while her mate sat beside me, but I was engrossed in conversation with several other people, so we didn't really interact much. That particular function ended up with us establishing contact with a couple that ended up being months-long swing mates, but we never saw the young couple again after that. I still think about her from time to time.

Dan

[OhioCouple]

I suppose I should clarify something here. We were at a club one night when a young twenty something woman got what I thought was rather frisky with my husband. I was disturbed about it and took him aside and told him to put an end to it. They weren't doing anything wrong mind you, but it just made me feel creepy as I have a son who is 26 years old. That was when I made the hard fast rule of no one under 40, which even to date we have adhered to, though I have changed my thinking regarding this issue.

I believe that my feelings were based on a couple of things the issue of age and the fact that I am no longer 20 something. The young lady was absolutely charming and intellectual but I never gave her a chance. She was a single with a group of other people that were real boring and she struck up a conversation with my husband and they hit it off. After having had some detailed conversations with other 20 somethings the last few months, I feel that I was wrong in judging someone by their age alone and not looking at the person as a whole. I have only gone so far though to change our profiles to no one younger than the age of 30, but it doesn't mean that if we happen to meet someone that we really hit it off with that we wouldn't consider it now.

Lori

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by CanadianCouple
Although you didn't specifically ask, we'll go up to 60 for a maximum.

We don't really have a maxium. I (Lori) am 42 and Gene is 57. The couple that we meet with regularaly are in the mid to later 50's. We did meet with a couple once where the male was 63 and very handsome and charming. I'd have played. Problem was Gene and the female didn't have an attraction. (I wasn't particularly attracted to her either.) I am also still open to doing Robert Redford even if it is in his 90's. He will be 66 this year and still makes my heart go pitter patter.

Sooo, if anyone happens to know if he is a swinger and looking for a playmate, my number is 555-Cum Get Me Now...

Lori

[BradAndJanet]

We're both in our mid-40's and age isn't too big a factor to us. If there's attraction, I don't think it would really matter too much.

Maturity would be a concern with those in their early 20's. I work with many people who have just come out of college and there is a wide variety in maturity level. I'm not sure folks in that age bracket always have the 'relationship' thing figured out (ever watch Real World?) and that can lead to problems. However, some of them really impress me with how mature they are.

Too old? Probably no such thing. It would be creepy if someone reminded us of a parent or other relative, but that would have more to do with personality or appearance, not simply how old they are.

-B

[CarolRonTN]

We are in out mid 40s and have been with people in their 20s and some in their late 50s. I (Ron) dont really have a preference although older women seem to be more aggressive (I love that), but Carol clearly prefers older men, they seem more attentive and caring (her words, not mine).
Ron and Carol

[Alura]

We're about Lori and Gene's ages. We've never had a set age as a criterion for picking playmates. We would shy away from the immature and the dead, but mainly we want to know how potential playmates think. Although maturity generally comes as a by-product of the aging process, sometimes it comes earlier and sometimes not at all. Our kids are young so we don't have to worry about swinging with people their age. Most couples our age don't have kids the age of ours. For that reason we find most of the couples we meet in everyday life are younger than we.

There is fifteen years difference in our ages. That, in itself, may make age a non-issue to us. Age may have caused some to not pursue us as playmates, but no one has ever said that.

Mrs. Alura likes older men, too. Mr. Alura thanks his lucky stars for that.

Alura

[MagicEnigma]

Its an interesting question I have dealt with from the other direction. I started in the lifestyle when I was still 20, and I might say I look a bit younger than that give or take my hair or tanning habits. The couple my ex-BF and I swapped with were in their late 40s/early 50s. I was actually more nervous about if I was going to be good enough to impress the wife than the husband. I seem to have faired better in their view than my BF did, and they are in turn how and why I got into the lifestyle. I don’t think they would have invited me to their own group if I hadn’t been mature enough. The word I’ve gotten from my hosts is that there were some that were a little unsure about what to make of me, but since getting to know me, they aren’t the least bit concerned now. I’ve been told I’m wiser than my years, and I like to think I handle myself maturely at gatherings. Since I’ve been with the group a younger couple in their mid/late 20s has started coming, and I’ve squared off with them on my own. My host couple and I still get together for our own activities as well.

In the end, I think its just really going with your gut and or getting to know folks first. The first club my hosts went with me to, I saw girls as young as I am who older couples seemed to avoid. But then these girls also were bouncing around like cheer leaders and little kids. Not really attractive to me or others.

[DragonsLair]

I would have to say age will be a factor when we start swinging, at least for me. I don't know that I would be comfortable with someone under 25. I'm 38. And I don't know that I'd look for someone over 60. That's starting to get too close to my mother's age, she's 67. But if I find someone very attractive that exceeds my ideas, I don't think I'd say no. So, I guess the age thing can be subjective according to the circumstances. I wouldn't actively seek someone above or below my age guidelines. But I won't rule someone out either.

I hope this made sense. I think the old cold bug is trying to get me. It already got my son and husband.

DragonsLair

He is T(away on business). I am A(missing him).

[Pantherswife]

Finally! A topic that I actually have some input on! I've been patiently waiting since we've joined this board...

We are both having birthdays this month - we will both be 36 (I'm 6 days his elder. lol). Anyway - getting to the point. We have only been with one couple so far. They are 27 and 28. I was a little freaked out by that to start with - I have a nephew that age. I know it's not a huge difference in years - but I was still very skeptical. As it turns out, we have done just fine - age has not been an issue. By the way, my husband didn't have any of the apprehension I did about their ages.

People are always very surprised when they learn "how old" we both are - we look younger and act younger (usually people guess late 20's - sometimes early 30's).

We started to correpsond with a couple who were 40 and 43 but stopped once we received photos - they looked older than their actual ages - a lot like my in-laws... and they have grown children (ours are both under 10). The whole thing made both of us uneasy.

I would have to say that age does play somewhat of a factor, but I would also have to agree that the most important issue the couple's personalities, mutual attraction, etc. I do admit we were somewhat biased to not continue with the older couple, but I just felt like people would think we were out with our parents.

[curious24]

i'm in my mid 20's (25 actually) and i would have to say for myself i wouldn't want to be with someone who could be my parents.. that to me is a bit freaky.. i would have to say i would go about 10 years older than i am however you just never know.. there is almost always those rare exceptions...

[austxmark]

For us the guidelines are over 30 and under 55. We are 43 and 44 today. We have made exceptions to those guidelines before and we will again. It all depends on the specific couple. The thing we have to consider is that my parents were swingers and my daughter and her husband are swingers. We really do not want to run into a couple who has been with either of them so we try and stay out of the age groups we think they like.

All you people with young kids..wait till they grow up and become just like mom and dad.