Age you appear to be vs. Age that you are

[Tybee Swing]

Let's say that you are 46 years old, soon to be 47. You don't keep your age a secret in your regular life. When people learn your actual age, they react with surprise and very often you've been told by many different people, "I thought you were about 31-35". A couple of people even thought you were younger than that. Nobody ever thinks you're over 40. You've been mistaken a couple of times for being your teen daughter's sister.

You are a swinger with an adult profile. Would you post your actual age? Would you post the age that most people guess you to be? Would you post something else somewhere between the two?

I'd love to hear what you would do, and also the reason why!

[2jersey]

Mrs 2jersey and I are about the same age (her 42, me 43) but several people in our vanilla life have commented that she looks much younger. For some reason, she would rather tell people her actual age and pleasantly surprise them than lie about her age and successfully fool people. I think she gets more compliments this way – she refers to her age as “a badge of honor”.

We post our actual (truthful)l ages on our profile. We do so for the same reason that all of our profile information is accurate – we are not out to con people. All of our profile photos are up-to-date and people who care about age are free to speculate as to whether we look our age, or not…

[OttawaCuple]

Even though everyone says "you look 10 to 15 years younger than your age" and that "you have a body that many 35 year olds would die for", I've always given my real age on on-line personals sites. I'm PROUD of being 55!! In a way, 55 is the new 45.

MrsOttawaCuple

[Amanda69]

Both always told look younger but always post real age...Why? because this is about honesty and open communication. Wouldn't look right to others we hook up with if we lie about something as basic as age.

[DGrey]

We are both told we look younger and have actually had to pull out IDs to prove that we aren't lying about being older. Really though...who would lie about being older?

We're both 33 and we're both frequently carded for alcohol.

E

[Spoomonkey]

What a hilarious thread!

We have had this discussion/debate/problem since day one - and just this weekend we were talking about it to another couple whose ages were completely mismatched with their looks.

They list their ages as younger - and the reason is they feel like they are off the radar of a lot of couples who would otherwise be interested. I kind of agree with this. Age - like weight - is a number that tells a very small part of the story. This couple in particular looks better than most couples in the lifestyle regardless of age...

My question - would you rather play with an incredibly attractive couple who doesn't look their age - or a less attractive couple just because the numbers add up?

That said - we tell the truth on our ad. We didn't at first, but Mrs Spoo wasn't comfortable with having to have it come up later. Everyone guesses her 15 years younger than she looks and we actually enjoy playing the game "guess her age" with folks - just to see the look on their faces when we tell them she'll turn 50 this year!

I - on the other hand - at 37 still get carded for beer now and then (most recently on my birthday! )

The shame is - the ad site filters keep a lot of couples from having our ad pop up as possible - and if they have an age limit of 45, we don't contact them because we aren't going to presume that we "may be an exception". I think it kind of cheats them and us out of experiences...

Spoomonkey

[DGrey]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

just to see the look on their faces when we tell them she'll turn 50 this year!

GET OUT!

E

[2jersey]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

The shame is - the ad site filters keep a lot of couples from having our ad pop up as possible - and if they have an age limit of 45, we don't contact them because we aren't going to presume that we "may be an exception". I think it kind of cheats them and us out of experiences...

Each ad site is probably somewhat different - but on Swing Lifestyle age searches are based on the youngest member of a couple.

[BiWoman33]

It's a definite peeve to find out someone has been misleading people about their age. Most people,if they take decent care of themselves, look pretty good, and that's all that matters. But I don't like being misled right off the bat. It is about openness, and age shouldn't matter; lying does matter. It suggests being uncomfortable with yourself.
And as an aside, I've yet to meet anyone who tells another person they look their age....it's a social norm to be sure never to insult a woman on her age...it's not a compliment, it's a nicety.

[good times]

Originally Posted by BiWoman33

And as an aside, I've yet to meet anyone who tells another person they look their age....it's a social norm to be sure never to insult a woman on her age...it's not a compliment, it's a nicety.

Especially if you are trying to get laid.

And for the record, having admired Mrs. Spoo in person, she doesn't look nowhere near here age. And I'm not saying that just to try to get on her good side.

Maybe we are a bit out of the ordinary, and sometimes it seems that way when we meet people and they don't match their profile. We are honest about everything in our add. I even edit our weights once a month or so to make sure they are correct and current.

[OttawaCuple]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

They list their ages as younger - and the reason is they feel like they are off the radar of a lot of couples who would otherwise be interested. Spoomonkey

Spoomonkey, you raised a very valid point there & I should clarify my previous post where I said

I've always given my real age on on-line personals sites.

Before I met my hubby, when I was looking for a partner on the on-line personals sites (which, BTW, is where I met my hubby :-)) I realized that 1) I generally (although there are always exceptions :-) like younger men cuz they more often match my "semblant age", and 2) men often limit their search to younger or same-age women, thinking that they'll be sexier, better lovers, etc than older ones (again, a generalization, right?). I figured, rightly, that if I put my real age down, they'd never even see me on their search lists because they'd be searching for younger women.

So here's what I did ... slightly devious, but ultimately honest ... I posted my age as "xx" (4 years younger than my chronological age) ... and THEN, because I didn't want to be accused of out & out lying, down at the BOTTOM of my profile description (because everyone should read your whole profile before contacting you, right??), I put "xx is my SEMBLANT age. My birth certificate says I was born in May, 1951" (which when they'd calculated it, would have told them how old I really was).

My ruse had the desired effect .... I was included in their search lists, yet I didn't actually lie about my age because I indirectly 'fessed up in the profile itself. I never had anyone tell me they were offended by my deviousness and I had quite a few admit to me that if I hadn't done that, they would have never even seen my profile.

So do I recommend people lie about their age?? Not at all ... but do I recognize that rightly or wrongly, some people (myself included, though I try not to) are going to prejudge you based on your age?? Most certainly. And I don't think there's anything wrong with a clever twist that shows them that they shouldn't judge a book by its cover (or a person by their age)

MrsOttawaCuple

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by 2jersey

Each ad site is probably somewhat different - but on Swing Lifestyle age searches are based on the youngest member of a couple.

Well - since I'm the youngest member - that may explain why we're still off the radar

Spoomonkey

[neoparadigm]

if most people had the choice to be younger they would...
let others guess your age... say what you want, because if people don't want
to play because they think your too old or unattractive, they won't anyway..
I can't imagine playing with someone and during the contact you confess your
real age..they would stop once they have committed.. How you look is most important..
how you act is also.. ask ten people who don't know you at all... take the average and
post it.. I don't think ages should even be posted..
current pictures should.. let the pictures tell the story not the day of graduation..

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by neoparadigm

say what you want..

The problem with this is that some folks value honesty - not just in what others tell them, but in what they tell others...

Yes - even in a place like this you will rub up against a little integrity...

Spoomonkey

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by DGrey

GET OUT!

See what I mean?

Spoomonkey