Age you appear to be vs. Age that you are

[rpu3]

Originally Posted by Tybee Swing

Let's say that you are 46 years old, soon to be 47. You don't keep your age a secret in your regular life. When people learn your actual age, they react with surprise and very often you've been told by many different people, "I thought you were about 31-35". A couple of people even thought you were younger than that. Nobody ever thinks you're over 40. You've been mistaken a couple of times for being your teen daughter's sister.

You are a swinger with an adult profile. Would you post your actual age? Would you post the age that most people guess you to be? Would you post something else somewhere between the two?

I'd love to hear what you would do, and also the reason why!

We have the exact same situation you just described above. My husband is 48. He looks 35. People always say "No way - you cannot be that old".

We are honest about it on our profile, and I know that causes people to not consider us. I don't know what else to do but be honest.

We thought about putting something in our profile stating he does not look his age, but we thought that might actually drive more people away that went back specifically to look at his age.

We ended up putting a photo up on the main page, so they can see everything but his eyes and get an idea that he's not exactly falling apart at the seams.

Great question!

R.

[Thrax]

I don't have profiles on Swing Lifestyle, AFF, or other similar services, but I do fill in my true age on my Board profile and my Yahoo Group profiles. I'm very happy with the fact that although I'll be receiving my first issue of Modern Maturity next month, I do look a little younger than that.

If I miss out on meeting some folks because of that, well, que sera sera.

I must admit, the pics I use in my profiles are usually 2 or 3 years old, and I've gained five pounds since then. Gotta get some new pics to keep everything free of any hint of deceit or duplicity.

Thrax

[LICouple4u]

I'm 30, but am constantly told I look much younger... You be the judge - avie pic was taken in March Hubby looks about his age, with some grey hairs mixed in there.

I prefer to be honest... If I am not, I know I'll screw up somewhere and my real age will be found.

Given that, my first woman was a beautiful 50yo (just this past fall) who has a daughter my age. I would willingly be with her again, no problem. There are some women who are that age though that I have no desire to be with...

So to us, age is just a number and we look at pictures to see if there's a chance of attraction or not. I do admit, we don't go over 55 as it gets to the point where there's not a lot in common then. We like to have something to talk about before and after the clothes are off.

[Concupiscence]

Sheesh, I'm feeling the fool for hanging out in the Utah desert for 2 weeks, I'll end up looking the age that I actually feel these days! Perhaps I should put that on my profile; act 12, feel 53, age 35.

This brings up an interesting point with respect to physical/personality characteristics of age, do you automatically assume that grey hair means old? Does the style of clothing indicate a certain age or maturity? If you are in a club and these types of traits are the first that you come into contact with, would you go with your first impression or try to determine whether the outer aspect matched the inner?

Going on what another poster mentioned, I would have difficulty overcoming a certain discomfort with gentlemen who have a distinguished look and silver hair. It is just too close to my father's appearance. Now if they were completely bald, Robert Duvall looking men wearing faded jeans then I would be ALL over it. Certain physical traits or personalities that remind me of my parents are going to interfere with any attraction that I might have. I also admit to a prejudice with respect to clothing styles and hair styles. They could be a completely beautiful couple but I couldn't swing with them.

P.S. I LOVE UTAH!!!!!!!!

[prettylady]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

The shame is - the ad site filters keep a lot of couples from having our ad pop up as possible - and if they have an age limit of 45, we don't contact them because we aren't going to presume that we "may be an exception". I think it kind of cheats them and us out of experiences...

Spoomonkey

Hey Spoomonkey
Dog and I are in a similar situation. Dog is 49 and I am 34. Were I normaly fit in to most peoples "ideal" age he does not. He is tall, muscular, and dam fine to look at we are passed over because of his age. He looks nothing like a 49 year old. Good healthy lifestyle leads to young healthy looking people. Dog takes VERY good care of himself.
I too get carded when my sisters and I go out to paint the town. They hate me for it. . I love it.
Your friend,
Prettylady

[prettylady]

Originally Posted by Thrax

I don't have profiles on Swing Lifestyle, AFF, or other similar services, but I do fill in my true age on my Board profile and my Yahoo Group profiles. I'm very happy with the fact that although I'll be receiving my first issue of Modern Maturity next month, I do look a little younger than that.

If I miss out on meeting some folks because of that, well, que sera sera.

I must admit, the pics I use in my profiles are usually 2 or 3 years old, and I've gained five pounds since then. Gotta get some new pics to keep everything free of any hint of deceit or duplicity.

Thrax

Just checked out your pic Thrax. Must say you are looking FINE to me.
Your friend,
Prettylady

[prettylady]

Ok,
I know I have the last three replys but it just accured to me.
Most of you say that you do not look as old as you say you are....could that mean that a healthy sex life leads to younger looking people? did I stumble upon the fountain of youth here.
Just a thought.
Your friend,
Prettylady

[Tybee Swing]

prettylady, maybe you're onto something there with the fountain of youth being a healthy sex life.

I think a lot of it is as you said about your guy, age 49 looking nowhere near his age - he takes great care of himself. I pay attention to health & fitness daily - it really pays off, I believe in it. Staying away from refined junk & grease, sticking with healthy whole foods, lots of fruits and veggies. "Clean living", no smoking, no drugs. Keeping fit with plenty of regular exercise. It all adds up.

Concupiscence mentioned clothing styles and hairstyles being too dated - I really get that. Many women my age dress like grannys and get those awful old-lady haircuts. If people are taking good care of themselves and dressing stylishly in a way that flatters what they've taken care of, that makes them appear younger, too.

My favorite role models are women like Demi Moore, Madonna, and many others who make people realize that "older" women don't have to look it, dress like it, act like it.

This is me - I'm 47.

[prettylady]

Ok first off I don't usually like to swear but
Shit girl your are beautiful. I would not have put you at 47 not even out of 30s. Keep it up, you look stunning
Your friend,
Prettylady

[Tybee Swing]

Thank you.

[athena2910]

Originally Posted by JnCC

I don't think any of us actually knows how old others guess us to be. If they want to jump our bones, and they're smart, they'll subtract 5-10 years from what they think we are, and tell us that number. Women may like smart men, but it's NOT smart to guess a woman's age exactly. ...I'm scrupulously honest about my leisure activities, and I hope that the person I'm responding to has done the same. Ultimately, they say far more about us than the actual date of our birth.

I think JnCC makes a good point. If knowing someone's real age doesn't matter because they look so good (or young as the case may be) does it really matter what age someone is?

I'm of course, assuming that people can still tell whether someone is at least of legal age! But really, why should it matter if a woman is near 50 and looks 30? Shouldn't the important part be that she looks good to you?

Athena

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by athena2910

why should it matter if a woman is near 50 and looks 30? Shouldn't the important part be that she looks good to you?

Athena

I agree with you. People who met that lady in person before they knew her age would likely go by how attracted they are to her. Many of them would have no idea what her real age was, if it didn't come up. They'd have assumed she was younger. If they're attracted, they wouldn't even care.

When searching through personals, people usually look for those who fit within a certain age bracket that they think they'd be attracted to. They see an age and other details on a profile long before they see a person's appearance very clearly (most people don't use face pics as main pics). They'd rule out the woman in your example because they know her age and assume things about how she'll look, before actually seeing her. It's a stereotype thing.

If Sharon Stone had a Lifestyle profile showing her true age of 48, a lot of people would pass her by. Their search range never would have even brought her to their attention. They wouldn't know they'd missed the opportunity to meet a woman who looks like THIS: http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/contri...0/photo/600551
Pity - she would have rocked their world.

[JnCC]

Originally Posted by Tybee Swing

If Sharon Stone had a Lifestyle profile showing her true age of 48, a lot of people would pass her by. Their search range never would have even brought her to their attention. They wouldn't know they'd missed the opportunity to meet a woman who looks like THIS: http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/contri...0/photo/600551

Originally Posted by Tybee Swing

This is me - I'm 47.

OH, SOOOOOWEEEET JEEZUS!!!!

Who the hell needs Sharon Stone???

Shit! I have to be somewhere in 30 minutes, and I'll never get this thing back in my pants...

[Tybee Swing]

LOL!!! Actually, I'd kill to have legs half as good as Sharon Stone's! When I went to that site to get that recent photo of her (Basic Instinct II, 2006), I saw the famous pic of her sitting in the chair from the original movie back in 1992....and she actually looks better now than she did then, 14 years ago!!!!

[rachan]

I actually am 46 and most people I know and meet tell me that I look younger. In personal ads I've always given my real age. One of my lovers, the one we do threesomes with is 35 and he always tells me I look younger. My husband is 56 and he's in great shape and doesn't look his age. Maybe this lifestyle keeps you young.

Raeann