Age you appear to be vs. Age that you are

[singleagain]

How refreshing to know that so many swingers are truthful enough to give their real age. Hell...the government won't even do that. Did you know that when the county tax appraiser checks out the age of your house he bases his estimate of value on the perceived age of the home rather than the real age...really

[neoparadigm]

Swinging is about raising the bar on sexuality... being free of the traditions imposed on us by society, religion and the government.. a true liberation movement.. trying to sugar coat the whole thing in some kind of shroud of integrity seems a bit over zealous.. I think there are some big stumbling blocks out there for everyone in this lifestyle.. it's dangerous territory but the thrill of the ride and excitiment overcomes the potential for boredom and the mudane..

I don't believe that all the perfect swinging couples posting here don't really go through some serious issues about the lifestyle from time to time..

I don't feel everyone here is really being so honest .. this is tough challenging ground to be walking on..

[biblonde]

We both are honest about our age..I am thrilled to have gotten this far!lol Although I am told often I dont look my age. Hey was even carded at a casino in reno this winter. Which was okay at first till the Jerk yelled out..."Oh..wow...you are almost 40!!" and well everyone around had to turn and look...We have seen those though that look much older than they say...makes ya wonder. As for MRS. Spoo...nope she doesnt look her age in the pics I have seen!!

NEOPARADIGM....just a note... no not all swingers are happy campers and most all go through hard time and issues in this lifestyle. It is how you choose to deal with it when they come up. You have to look at any issues as a learning experiance and move on. If you let it get to you, then you will be very unhappy! Me and hubby have almost no issues with this lifestyle and really havent had to many since we got into it. We are truely happy in this lifestyle. Good communication is the key to being happy with swinging. I can tell you every post we have made has been 100% honest. I am sure though that there are those who stretch the truth...you have to believe what you want and disregard the rest.

[blondie77]

Both hubby and I look younger than we are...but like biblondie said, I hate it when they ask for ID and then look at it like 'Oh, didn't realize you were so OLD!'! UGH! I had that happen to me at a bar one time...the bartender was no older than 21 and when she carded me and saw my age, she called me ma'am for the rest of the night!!! I will be turning 30 in another year so this especially irritates me! LOL Oh...and we're always honest about our ages...I figure if someone found out I lied about my age, then they'll be less likely to believe anything else I say.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by neoparadigm

this is tough challenging ground to be walking on..

If you see it that way, maybe you feel the need to lie.

Personally - we are doing quite well while keeping our integrity in the matter. If this is, as you say, "raising the bar" or "a true liberation movement" then how could you then shroud that with a somewhat desperate and rather pathetic dishonesty?

Frankly, I have not bought most of the stuff you've been writing here, and since you seem to think that lying is a good way to be successful in the lifestyle - I guess you just proved me right

Spoomonkey

[DGrey]

Originally Posted by neoparadigm

How you look is most important..

Unfortunately, no, it's not. If we were to meet a couple where either husband or wife had said they were one age and then confessed that they were another age, we might stop depending on that age. We have rules that we don't play with people under 23 or people over 53. There are reasons and the reasons being that those ages are too close to family members ages and my psyche just won't go there.

E

[2jersey]

Aging effects more than one's physical appearance - it affects one's mind. And up to a point, we believe the mind gets better with age. Compared to their more youthful counterparts, well aged people are more likely to have better balanced emotions and personalities.

Sure, an attractive 40 year old women could look in the mirror and declare herself to be 25, but she would be selling herself short.

[Chicup]

One of the fun things about being a doctor is I get to know what peoples real ages are. I'm often shocked at people who are a few years younger than I am who look several years older. I've been aging pretty well so far, something I will attribute to me basically staying out of the sun (northern European + sun = bad SPF 35+ = good). This puts my apparent age late 20's (mid 20's if I had the grey flecks removed from my hair). Just yesterday one woman who was only a couple of years older than me was shocked to learn I was the same age as her husband. Mrs. Chicup is in pretty much the same boat (living with me keeps you out of the sun).

Being we are slightly younger than the average swingers out there (and when we started we were much younger) most couples who contact us are older than we are. When we first started in our late /mid 20's I was very 'ageist' in that anyone in their mid 30's was an instant turn off. I recall one couple who I responded to who said they were late 30's, and my response was something akin to thanks for writing but we think our ages are too far apart. They tried to convince us otherwise, and I noted they had removed their age from their profile after that (this is before the days of Swing Lifestyle or really any good swinger sites beyond some local ones).

This couple is still in the lifestyle and amazingly list themselves as the same age as they did 7 years ago, so now we are almost the same age (they are also using the same pictures)

So where am I going with this rambling?

Well I can understand the desire to list ones age younger. If you were a couple who looked younger than you are it would be tempting to list yourself as in the younger age group. We know two couples who have done this, and have heard of many more. That doesn't mean its a good thing in the long run. Finding out you have been lied to is a good way to really torpedo a friendship. If your only goal is to nail the young hotties then they may have a point but most these couples are doing it to appeal to a younger age group but are still looking for friendship in the LS as well. Some where out there, there are 2 couples in their 40’s who both think the other couple is in their 30’s.

Now that we have grown up a bit we really don’t look at the ages, but just a general attraction, but the age liars still irk me a bit, I hate being lied to period.

Originally Posted by 2jersey

Aging effects more than one's physical appearance - it affects one's mind. And up to a point, we believe the mind gets better with age. Compared to their more youthful counterparts, well aged people are more likely to have better balanced emotions and personalities.

Very true, not always the case, but true enough

[neoparadigm]

It's interesting that not one post here says that we look OLDER than our real ages..
Americans are obsessed with looking younger and this is just a reflection of that obsession.

Who cares how old you are? If you see a hot couple or single you want to play with, and they
like you.. who cares? Age can be just as discriminating as race, or religion.

"We don't play with blacks, Jews, Buddists or Mexicans, only white soccer moms with white
attorney husbands..

[JnCC]

Originally Posted by Tybee Swing

You are a swinger with an adult profile. Would you post your actual age?

As a single male, probably not. It's just a sad, but true fact that after 50, invitations slow down for everybody in the lifestyle, especially single males. So IF I were going to put an ad on a swinger website, I'd say I was 49...an age I probably could pass for, if the other person(s) wanted to believe the lie bad enough.

Strangely enough, I DO post my actual age on the vanilla website, in part because I'm at an age which for some reason seems to be very appealing to women in the age range I'm interested in (mid-late 40's). The other reason for that is that there, you're likely to wind up in an ongoing relationship of some sort, and it's hard to maintain a deception when you're doing a lot of other things together. On the adult sites, people are usually just looking for a stunt dick. When it's over, it's over, and you don't have to worry that they're going to find solicitations to join the "AARP" on your kitchen counter.

Would you post the age that most people guess you to be? Would you post something else somewhere between the two?

I don't think any of us actually knows how old others guess us to be. If they want to jump our bones, and they're smart, they'll subtract 5-10 years from what they think we are, and tell us that number. Women may like smart men, but it's NOT smart to guess a woman's age exactly.

What I DO pay attention to (and this applied to how we assessed other couples when I was part of a couple, as well as to how I now assess single females), is how well they've maintained themselves physically, and what hobbies and interests they have. I would MUCH rather be with a vital, dynamic 50+ year old, than a 40-year old who's just "wallowing" through life. Therefore, in any profile I write, I'm scrupulously honest about my leisure activities, and I hope that the person I'm responding to has done the same.

Ultimately, they say far more about us than the actual date of our birth.

[TeamSoBe]

Originally Posted by neoparadigm

It's interesting that not one post here says that we look OLDER than our real ages..

Apparently I do. And my wife likes guys who are way way way older than me.

Lying to get laid is wrong.

[biblonde]

Originally Posted by neoparadigm

It's interesting that not one post here says that we look OLDER than our real ages..
Americans are obsessed with looking younger and this is just a reflection of that obsession.

Who cares how old you are? If you see a hot couple or single you want to play with, and they
like you.. who cares? Age can be just as discriminating as race, or religion.

"We don't play with blacks, Jews, Buddists or Mexicans, only white soccer moms with white
attorney husbands..

Sweetie...I have noticed that almost every post you make is negative? Is there a reason why? It cant be fun to be so down on everything? Maybe I missed something...but you may try looking on the lighter side of things. Makes life alot more fun!!

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by JnCC

I don't think any of us actually knows how old others guess us to be. If they want to jump our bones, and they're smart, they'll subtract 5-10 years from what they think we are, and tell us that number. Women may like smart men, but it's NOT smart to guess a woman's age exactly.

I understand the point about people wanting to jump your bones, will say anything to flatter you. (Several other folks made this same point, also.) BUT, I disagree that people can't have a very clear idea of how old they appear to be to people in general.

When you truly do look much younger than your true age, it comes up continually in general life. You hear it from old friends you haven't seen in years, new friends/acquaintences or co-workers who've just learned your age, the lady at the DMV taking your picture, the dental hygenist, the person carding you at the club, all people with no ulterior motive to make the comment. When all these experiences point toward a certain age range that they say they thought you were in, it's just logical to conclude that you probably do look that age to people.

I think it was Spoo who said that Mrs. Spoo is close to 50 but is constantly told by people in general that she looks to be in her 30's....I'll bet that she actually does look it, hearing it that often.

[neoparadigm]

Lying to get laid is wrong!

This is true if you don't want to get laid..
I'll go with getting laid anytime!

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by neoparadigm

Lying to get laid is wrong!

This is true if you don't want to get laid..
I'll go with getting laid anytime!

OK I move you from the weirdo to the troll column.


Don't let him derail the thread.