Aging and Swinging

[Betty and Dave]

We are approaching 60 and still enjoy sex tremendously. As I've aged I've adjusted to a declining ability to engage in repeated sex. At this point (59) I do it twice a week; anthing more actually makes it less enjoyable. Even at this level I need a lot of erotic stimulation to get the fullest pleasure.

Betty can enjoy sex a lot more, especially in a long session. We have adopted strategies to deal with this, such as me holding back for a long time before cumming. Even so, it isn't always easy to match our desires with my ability to perform.

We've had many MFM relationships (not one-night stands) over the years. In recent years there have been fewer of these, yet satisfying because they allow both of us to go longer and enjoy the experience to the fullest. It works best when both men pace themselves, taking turns with Betty.

More than once the occasion has been less than ideal when one or the other of us came sooner than we had planned.

The last time we spent a weekend with a long-term male friend and managed to keep the erotic tension going by allowing for a long foreplay, followed by sex without orgasm for the males until the second day.

We would be interested if other people have advice on this question.

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by Betty and Dave

We would be interested if other people have advice on this question.

Within your well-written post there could be many questions to pose. However, there isn't one.

Care to clarify where you would like us to direct our focus?

Since MrLM and I are in our 50's I'd like to post on this, once I know how you would like me to direct my response.

LM

[nvancpl]

Like LikeMinds I read the post and was wondering what the question was. While hubby and I are not quite at the "age" indicated I (female 1/2) read the thread as I'm attracted to older men and that is generally who we look for when we mfm; I love their ability to last and as noted it works so wonderfully when 2 men pace themselves with me.

[ItTakes3]

We're "that age" and it makes for some difficulty finding the right person(s) or the right situation. So many in our age group have given up sex entirely, or no longer have the desire to play with others. Needless to say, our situation becomes more difficult every year!

It would be nice to find a website that caters to older, financially and emotionally secure, middle-Americans who enjoy recreational sex, but also share non-sexual interests. There is the Senior Friend Finders site, but it's just another pay as you go dating service.

We are more interested in having on-line discussions about our sexuality and the social situations we face as we grow older. As an example: I once called a local club and asked the owner how many of their members were in their 50's and 60's and what did she think about our visiting their place? She said there were a few our age, but that we might feel uncomfortable because most of their members were in their 30's and 40's.

I was left with the distinct impression that she would prefer we not visit because it might make their younger members uncomfortable to be around "dirty old men" with their bulging waistline and their dirty old wives with their sagging boobs, not because we would be uncomfortable.

That was pretty much fine with us anyway, because we aren't fans of modern music, nor are we drinkers and it's often difficult finding topics of conversation that span the ages. And with few our age in attendance, the odds of meeting someone with common interests were rather slim.

If I was more computer literate, I'd consider creating such a site, but I'm afraid that will never happen with my limited knowledge!

[dayhiker]

ittakes3

You broght an interesting thought to my mind.
Clubs should have an over 50 night. Start at 5pm, doors close by 9pm and the activities over around midnight. This would give some good play time. Wouldn't have to hang out late for the action to start. The older couples could built a different slower pace. The music could be more to the sensual waltz pace. Instead of an over 50's night, maybe a retirement afternoon!

Just a thought. Will any club give it a try?

dayhiker

[jstlkng]

What a thoght dayhiker. This thread should be continued by those of us over 50. I'm 60 and Mrs. jstlkng is 59. Like you we don't go for the faster pace of younger couples although the thought of swinging with someone younger would fulfil some of our fantasies of Mrs. Jstlkng getting fucked like I used to fuck her...hard and fast and long. Can't do that much anymore and having the help of another gentleman to give her all she wants would be great...but it will need to be in a setting more akin to our liking.

Mr. Jstlkng

[Betty and Dave]

I'm sorry I didn't make the questions clear. Actually, I'm interested in the entire range of issues that surround sex and aging from a swingers' point of view.

More specifically, do you keep to your own age group when looking for partners, and why?

How do you deal with diminished sexual stamina when with couples or partners?

Does the lifestyle help maintain sexual vigor?

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by Betty and Dave

More specifically, do you keep to your own age group when looking for partners, and why?

We haven't because there are few swingers our age. Also, we enjoy the company of younger people because we look and feel younger than our ages.

I have a strong desire to be with men 30-50 y/o because their vitality feeds my own. I feel young being around them. I find it a great compliment and highly erotic to be desired by younger men. Having younger men find me attractive was something I never expected in the lifestyle.

How do you deal with diminished sexual stamina when with couples or partners?

We've not experienced this yet. My husband keeps himself in great shape and I'm sure it contributes to his sexual stamina. I've never been as sexually alive as I am now.

Does the lifestyle help maintain sexual vigor?

Most definately! We have become more desirous of each other and more playful and experimental than before we began swinging.

LM

[playmatesinpgh]

More specifically, do you keep to your own age group when looking for partners, and why?

My wife and I are 37 and 54 respectively. We meet couples ranging in age of between 30 and 60 generally, but have met and played with couples in their 20's a few times and certainly would not rule out couples older then 60. Now, having said that, most of the couples we meet are in their 40's. I really think the main reason for that is because of my age. I believe that most "younger" couples, who haven't had alot of experience, are not atracked to "older" people because of the general stigma of age, in regards to sexuality and stamina.

How do you deal with diminished sexual stamina when with couples or partners?

Both of us, basically, just go with the flow. We have been with couples in their early 30's who have had no stamina at all and with couples in their 50's that could go all night. We rarely go into a new experience with much expectations regarding stamina. I think the reason for this is because we have learned not to expect anything and that way, you won't be disappointed with the results.

Does the lifestyle help maintain sexual vigor?

Absolutely...

[Greg & Sheryl]

Originally Posted by Betty and Dave

Do you keep to your own age group when looking for partners, and why?

Greg is 38 while Sheryl is 49, so we typically look for people who are in-between our ages. While we would not turn down a younger couple who apporached us, we don't bother apporaching younger couples. We figure that most younger couples would not be interested in us, so there's no need to set ourselves up for rejection.

How do you deal with diminished sexual stamina when with couples or partners?

So far, that hasn't been an issue for us. Greg is a fitness fanatic and is still relatively young. Sheryl can still go all night, although she now needs extra lube.

Does the lifestyle help maintain sexual vigor?

It seems to.

[Betty and Dave]

Since we don't frequent clubs any more we haven't experienced any age issues that might arise. We also haven't had the opportunity to try younger men. From some of the comments here it looks to us that this might be worth a try.

[TNT]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

I have a strong desire to be with men 30-50 y/o because their vitality feeds my own.
LM

And some of us who fall exactly in the middle would love to feed your vitality.

Ted

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by TNT

And some of us who fall exactly in the middle would love to feed your vitality.

Ted

Well Ted, where did you come from? I don't think you've flirted with me since you participated in my phallic-snow-sculpture thread from last winter. You won a pair of panties off me back then.

Good to hear from you, you ole sexy swashbuckler.

LM

[TNT]

Arm wrestle you for the ones you have on now beautiful.

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by TNT

Arm wrestle you for the ones you have on now beautiful.

LM