Young Swingers Having problems finding others

05-15-2002, 06:31 PM

Why are most of the swingers i find in there late 30' early 40's im 19 and my boyfriend is 29 and we are having a hell of a time finding anyone to "swing" with in our own age catagory. It s very frustrating!!!
Ive been swinging for 2yrs now on luck alone and normally with couples who were not actually swingers it just sort of happens so there is alot of teaching and giggling at first and they never seem to last very long. Any ideas and or clues into the mystery of the whole thing ? I would appreciate any advice at all.

CanadianCouple · 05-15-2002, 08:03 PM

So you've been swinging since age 17?

Dan

PA_RACERS · 05-15-2002, 08:29 PM

My husband and I are 26 and 27. We most likely wouldn't swing with you because you are 19. Not knowing you personally, most 19 year olds are not mature enough to handle swinging. We have that problem at our age. People think we are to young.

ciscosv · 05-15-2002, 10:07 PM

My husband is 25 and I am 22. We are the life of the party's because we are so young.

I don't think it is as much a question of maturity as it is our commitment and trust with each other. We also don't have a problem with age as long as they don't look like our parents and hopefully are old enough to go to the bars.

05-16-2002, 12:40 PM

I wouldn't necessarily call it swinging, like it said it was mostly stuff that just happened with friends or what not.

It just made me realize that that was the sort of thing I enjoy and I'm not really one to stick to just one guy. So since my bf likes the idea of swinging too it makes sense for us.

I get a lot of attitude from people because of my age, I'm seeing it here too. Is it that you have to be old enough to drink in order to be old enough to swing?

hotclubcpl4u · 05-16-2002, 02:16 PM

I think the problem is that a vast majority of people in the lifestyle have children your age. I know that we wouldn't even consider a 19 yr. old... [Frown]

05-16-2002, 02:43 PM

Well we wouldn't want to be with someone my parents age any more than they would want to be with us. That would be kinda weird and icky

But we would like to find others that are closer to our own ages, not necessarily 19 but under 30. We just aren't having an easy time at it.

**Alura** · 05-16-2002, 02:48 PM

We think the reason most swingers are older is that it takes an extraordinary level of committment to do it successfully. Often, it takes years to build the trust and understanding of each other. Most of the swingers we've met and all those we've played with have been married ten years or more.

On the other hand, we wouldn't turn a couple down simply on age, provided, of course, they are over the age of concent and, therefore, legal. They would also have to be unusually mature and committed to each other. Age does not necessarily bring maturity and wisdom, but maturity and wisdom seldom are manifest in the very young.

We'd advise you to keep looking. If you don't find someone your age, perhaps you'll find someone who could be tempted to play with a young and tender body. Hmmm, come to think of it... [Wink]

Alura

CanadianCouple · 05-16-2002, 05:33 PM

quote:
Originally posted by <YngSwingers>:

I get a lot of attitude from people because of my age, I'm seeing it here too. Is it that you have to be old enough to drink in order to be old enough to swing?

Well, I'm guessing law enforcement in your state of residence would REALLY prefer you to be of legal age before having sex with others who are. I'm not sure 17 cuts it.

Correct?

Dan

05-16-2002, 05:46 PM

I think that's beside the point at this time, since I'm not 17 anymore and 19 is legal everywhere.

***JustAskJulie*** · 05-16-2002, 06:22 PM

quote:
Why are most of the swingers i find in there late 30' early 40's

Well as it's been mentioned, that has a lot to do with the amount of committment in a relationship that is required to consider this sort of lifestyle.

I think tho that more and more younger swingers are discovering this lifestyle early on due to the internet and other means. It used to be something that you only knew about through word of mouth or through the occasional print magazines that weren't that easy to come by either. Now days it's everywhere so more and more people know about it and are thinking about it at an earlier age.

quote:
im 19 and my boyfriend is 29 and we are having a hell of a time finding anyone to "swing" with in our own age

One issue here is that you are two different age brackets. He is old enough to fit into the 30's crowd while you are still pretty young. Sounds to me like maybe you have issue regarding age and are a little too stuck on finding someone YOUR age to play with. Relax and keep an open-mind. If your boyfriend is almost 30 then it won't kill you to swing with people who 30. Granted once you get much older than that you get into that bracket of people who could be your parent and that can get a little weird.

Just keep an open mind and if the two of you are really committed to each other and to getting into this lifestyle, it'll happen.

ciscosv · 05-19-2002, 10:31 PM

I know I am a little late ont he reply for having to be 21 but better late then never. We didn't mean that peole had to be 21. We just know that to get things started it is always easier to loosen up with a couple of drinks first. It is also easier to bea ble to go to place..like the club that we go to...you have to be 21 or older. I am only 22 so i wouldn.t pass by a younger couple it is just easier if you are over 21. But hey, life is never easy.

d and K · 05-20-2002, 07:29 AM

We'd have to agree with the tide of responses so far. Age shouldnt be a factor except for the age of consent rules. We have been to parties that the star of the evening was a young couple or a older "wiser" couple, but guess we thought that we were there to have fun?

Finding folks in your age bracket isnt hard as long as you talk to the hosts of local parties, sometimes they can even arrange an under 30 night theme.

D&K [Tongue]

CanadianCouple · 05-20-2002, 08:10 AM

quote:
Originally posted by d and K:
Age shouldnt be a factor except for the age of consent rules.

That was the point I was making to "yngswingers", regarding the fact she was apparently only 17 years old when she began swinging. Aside from issues of legality, that's simply TOO young to be engaging in this lifestyle, IMO. I chose not to continue debating the point with her, it'd be pointless and only serve to cause further upset.

Anyone recall the name Traci Lords? I'm betting certain people in California do. All too well they remember.

Dan

[ 05-20-2002, 08:11 AM: Message edited by: CanadianCouple ]

05-20-2002, 03:23 PM

Again my age when I started is beside the point. But just so that you know 16 is the legal age of consent here, so there is no legal issue.

When you refer to Traci Lords that is a completely different thing. The issue with Traci Lords was that you have to be 18 to do porn, not that you have to be 18 to have sex.

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05-15-2002, 06:31 PM	#1 (permalink)
<YngSwingers> Guest Posts: n/a	Young Swingers Having problems finding others Why are most of the swingers i find in there late 30' early 40's im 19 and my boyfriend is 29 and we are having a hell of a time finding anyone to "swing" with in our own age catagory. It s very frustrating!!! Ive been swinging for 2yrs now on luck alone and normally with couples who were not actually swingers it just sort of happens so there is alot of teaching and giggling at first and they never seem to last very long. Any ideas and or clues into the mystery of the whole thing ? I would appreciate any advice at all.
<YngSwingers> Guest Posts: n/a

05-15-2002, 10:07 PM	#4 (permalink)
ciscosv Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 755 Location: Redford, Michigan Status: Married Couple	My husband is 25 and I am 22. We are the life of the party's because we are so young. I don't think it is as much a question of maturity as it is our commitment and trust with each other. We also don't have a problem with age as long as they don't look like our parents and hopefully are old enough to go to the bars.
	__________________ M&M Melts in your mouth, not in your hand

05-16-2002, 12:40 PM	#5 (permalink)
<YngSwingers> Guest Posts: n/a	I wouldn't necessarily call it swinging, like it said it was mostly stuff that just happened with friends or what not. It just made me realize that that was the sort of thing I enjoy and I'm not really one to stick to just one guy. So since my bf likes the idea of swinging too it makes sense for us. I get a lot of attitude from people because of my age, I'm seeing it here too. Is it that you have to be old enough to drink in order to be old enough to swing?
<YngSwingers> Guest Posts: n/a

05-16-2002, 02:16 PM	#6 (permalink)
hotclubcpl4u Here to Stay Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 37 Location: Ontario, Canada Status: Couple/Bi-F/Straight M Swing Lifestyle Name:hotclubcpl4u	I think the problem is that a vast majority of people in the lifestyle have children your age. I know that we wouldn't even consider a 19 yr. old...
	__________________ 1+1 = 2 but 2+2 is a lot more fun ;-)

05-15-2002, 08:03 PM	#2 (permalink)
CanadianCouple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 1,139 Location: New Brunswick, Canada Status: Married Couple	So you've been swinging since age 17? Dan

05-15-2002, 08:29 PM	#3 (permalink)
PA_RACERS Here to Stay Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 84 Location: Titusville, PA, USA Status: couple str8m/bifem	My husband and I are 26 and 27. We most likely wouldn't swing with you because you are 19. Not knowing you personally, most 19 year olds are not mature enough to handle swinging. We have that problem at our age. People think we are to young.

05-16-2002, 02:43 PM	#7 (permalink)
<YngSwingers> Guest Posts: n/a	Well we wouldn't want to be with someone my parents age any more than they would want to be with us. That would be kinda weird and icky But we would like to find others that are closer to our own ages, not necessarily 19 but under 30. We just aren't having an easy time at it.
<YngSwingers> Guest Posts: n/a

05-16-2002, 02:48 PM	#8 (permalink)
Alura Just a hick Okie Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 8,135 Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma Status: Widower	We think the reason most swingers are older is that it takes an extraordinary level of committment to do it successfully. Often, it takes years to build the trust and understanding of each other. Most of the swingers we've met and all those we've played with have been married ten years or more. On the other hand, we wouldn't turn a couple down simply on age, provided, of course, they are over the age of concent and, therefore, legal. They would also have to be unusually mature and committed to each other. Age does not necessarily bring maturity and wisdom, but maturity and wisdom seldom are manifest in the very young. We'd advise you to keep looking. If you don't find someone your age, perhaps you'll find someone who could be tempted to play with a young and tender body. Hmmm, come to think of it... Alura
	__________________ "They may call me a rube and a hick, but I'd a lot rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it." —Will Rogers

05-16-2002, 05:33 PM	#9 (permalink)
CanadianCouple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 1,139 Location: New Brunswick, Canada Status: Married Couple	quote: Originally posted by <YngSwingers>: I get a lot of attitude from people because of my age, I'm seeing it here too. Is it that you have to be old enough to drink in order to be old enough to swing? Well, I'm guessing law enforcement in your state of residence would REALLY prefer you to be of legal age before having sex with others who are. I'm not sure 17 cuts it. Correct? Dan

05-16-2002, 05:46 PM	#10 (permalink)
<YngSwingers> Guest Posts: n/a	I think that's beside the point at this time, since I'm not 17 anymore and 19 is legal everywhere.
<YngSwingers> Guest Posts: n/a

05-16-2002, 06:22 PM	#11 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 29,287 Location: In my House Status: Female Swing Lifestyle Name:swingersboard	quote: Why are most of the swingers i find in there late 30' early 40's Well as it's been mentioned, that has a lot to do with the amount of committment in a relationship that is required to consider this sort of lifestyle. I think tho that more and more younger swingers are discovering this lifestyle early on due to the internet and other means. It used to be something that you only knew about through word of mouth or through the occasional print magazines that weren't that easy to come by either. Now days it's everywhere so more and more people know about it and are thinking about it at an earlier age. quote: im 19 and my boyfriend is 29 and we are having a hell of a time finding anyone to "swing" with in our own age One issue here is that you are two different age brackets. He is old enough to fit into the 30's crowd while you are still pretty young. Sounds to me like maybe you have issue regarding age and are a little too stuck on finding someone YOUR age to play with. Relax and keep an open-mind. If your boyfriend is almost 30 then it won't kill you to swing with people who 30. Granted once you get much older than that you get into that bracket of people who could be your parent and that can get a little weird. Just keep an open mind and if the two of you are really committed to each other and to getting into this lifestyle, it'll happen.
	__________________ Julie - your hostess The Swinger Manual - all the info from the Swingers Board in one convenient book

05-19-2002, 10:31 PM	#12 (permalink)
ciscosv Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 755 Location: Redford, Michigan Status: Married Couple	I know I am a little late ont he reply for having to be 21 but better late then never. We didn't mean that peole had to be 21. We just know that to get things started it is always easier to loosen up with a couple of drinks first. It is also easier to bea ble to go to place..like the club that we go to...you have to be 21 or older. I am only 22 so i wouldn.t pass by a younger couple it is just easier if you are over 21. But hey, life is never easy.
	__________________ M&M Melts in your mouth, not in your hand

05-20-2002, 07:29 AM	#13 (permalink)
d and K Active Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 26 Location: webster, new hampshire Status: Single male	We'd have to agree with the tide of responses so far. Age shouldnt be a factor except for the age of consent rules. We have been to parties that the star of the evening was a young couple or a older "wiser" couple, but guess we thought that we were there to have fun? Finding folks in your age bracket isnt hard as long as you talk to the hosts of local parties, sometimes they can even arrange an under 30 night theme. D&K

05-20-2002, 08:10 AM	#14 (permalink)
CanadianCouple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 1,139 Location: New Brunswick, Canada Status: Married Couple	quote: Originally posted by d and K: Age shouldnt be a factor except for the age of consent rules. That was the point I was making to "yngswingers", regarding the fact she was apparently only 17 years old when she began swinging. Aside from issues of legality, that's simply TOO young to be engaging in this lifestyle, IMO. I chose not to continue debating the point with her, it'd be pointless and only serve to cause further upset. Anyone recall the name Traci Lords? I'm betting certain people in California do. All too well they remember. Dan [ 05-20-2002, 08:11 AM: Message edited by: CanadianCouple ]

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05-20-2002, 03:23 PM	#15 (permalink)
<YngSwingers> Guest Posts: n/a	Again my age when I started is beside the point. But just so that you know 16 is the legal age of consent here, so there is no legal issue. When you refer to Traci Lords that is a completely different thing. The issue with Traci Lords was that you have to be 18 to do porn, not that you have to be 18 to have sex.
<YngSwingers> Guest Posts: n/a

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