Question: Are 20 somethings only wanting females?

[curious24]

Originally Posted by HotMama

I am 29, and my husband is 30....

Most single 20 year old Men in swinging are very, very, very immature and trying to go for the "easy lay".

But to answer your orig. question ... Single men are all over, single women are not..... You don't have to "look" for a single male.... they are all over.

If you want to "up" your odds, find a girlfriend and bring something more to the table. I am Bi, (that is the main reason we are in the lifestyle) a lot of the other women in the lifestyle are also..... You can not offer me nothing my husband does not.

Sounds like you are just complaning because you think its hard to find people to play with you......

I'm not complaining at all.. I'm just making an observation about what I see. I'm not actually actively looking for anything. I honestly enjoy the open mindedness that this site has the the way they treat nice single guys here. Hence the reason I stay on this site and ask questions like this to get a different view point on issues that I think of and observe here and on other sites that I visit every now and then.

And I would actually argue your point about having to "look" for single men. Yes you are right they are all over. However, I bet it's harder than you think to find a nice single guy who isn't immature and just looking for the "easy lay", but then again since you aren't looking for single men and never have I guess you wouldn't know would you?

[Chicup]

I think many new swingers are more comfortable with a MFF (less male pressures) or couples for a first experiance. Now I know 5 people will post that there first was a MMF and I know that its not uncommon, but at least the ADDS seem to be young couples looking for single females or couples.

We started this way and personally I think it worked a lot better for us. I still had some jealousy issues, and the fact that our first full swap was just that, instead of an MMF, made those issues easier to handle. Sure he did my wife but I did his too so we are 'even'. Now that we are experianced its not an issue at all, but switching from vanilla to swinger you can't expect to give up all your old hang ups right away.

Also you need to figure in the good number of bisexual/bisexual curious (and there IS such a thing as bisexual curious, my wife switched from BC to B, but it wasn't an instant thing) and a MMF won't help them explore that.

[HotMama]

Originally Posted by curious24

And I would actually argue your point about having to "look" for single men. Yes you are right they are all over. However, I bet it's harder than you think to find a nice single guy who isn't immature and just looking for the "easy lay", but then again since you aren't looking for single men and never have I guess you wouldn't know would you?

I know what you are saying, but We meet very nice single guys every weekend at the local meet and greets.....

You could argue, but you would be dead wrong... single men are a dime a dozen...

We used to get sooo many emails on Swing Lifestyle, that we had to block single men,... we still get a bunch from single males listed as couples.

If you had a girlfriend and was looking for a couple... not a single male, you would know this....

I checked out your posts , looks like you have been looking recently... or by "not currently looking" did you mean "not in the last two minutes?"

Just wondering how can you look for 4 years and not meet anyone.. do you go to meet and greets , just to meet people?

[good times]

I would have to agree with HotMama on this point, one of our local clubs allows single males on Saturday nights. Their will usually be between 20 and 30 single males there and the majority of them seem to be decent enough guys. So I don't think anyone would lack choices as they seem to be pretty plentifull to me.

Curious24, one thing you said brought a question to mind that I've always wondered about . You said "However, I bet it's harder than you think to find a nice single guy who isn't immature and just looking for the "easy lay"".

Aren't all single guys that swing pretty much looking for an "easy lay"? What I am getting at is I don't see that their is anything more to get from a swinging couple, as they are allready in a commited relationship with each other and are generally not looking to add a third for anything other than sex. I've allways assumed that if the single males wanted anything other than that they would be out looking for a regular girl friend instead of looking for swingers.

[Vespertine]

Originally Posted by good times

Aren't all single guys that swing pretty much looking for an "easy lay"? What I am getting at is I don't see that their is anything more to get from a swinging couple, as they are allready in a commited relationship with each other and are generally not looking to add a third for anything other than sex. I've allways assumed that if the single males wanted anything other than that they would be out looking for a regular girl friend instead of looking for swingers.

Maybe this is a first step into exploring a possible bisexual side of himself?

(Please feel free to jump all over me if I am assuming way too much, curious24 )

[inbeachcouple]

We were soft swap ONLY when we were in our 20's. We're both 30 now, and have moved up to full swapping with select people. We felt for us to go MFM, or even the big FMF, it would take away half the fun if they were 'soft' 3-somes.

[curious24]

Originally Posted by good times

Curious24, one thing you said brought a question to mind that I've always wondered about . You said "However, I bet it's harder than you think to find a nice single guy who isn't immature and just looking for the "easy lay"".

Aren't all single guys that swing pretty much looking for an "easy lay"? What I am getting at is I don't see that their is anything more to get from a swinging couple, as they are allready in a commited relationship with each other and are generally not looking to add a third for anything other than sex. I've allways assumed that if the single males wanted anything other than that they would be out looking for a regular girl friend instead of looking for swingers.

You know it really bothers me when people "assume" things about me. It's been happening a lot lately to me and I just don't get it. Just come out and ask me

Anyway, if I was looking for an "easy lay" then I would have already had an experience. I've had a few offers in the past 4 years that I have been curious but I just didn't like the couples that have offed.

Maybe I'm the only single guy who is interested in swinging that would actually like to be friends with the people I swing with in and out of the bed room. It is exactly this thought that I want an "easy lay" that is keeping me away from a lot of swingers. In fact it doesn't make me very happy at all that I am looked at as an "easy lay" and that I am "used" for only a fuck.

I'm a person damnit. Some guys this maybe okay for them but it's not me. I want to be treated with respect and as a human being. I don't think that's asking a whole lot considering the amount of respect I give to others in and out of the lifestyle.

I'm also sorry that you don't see anything more that a couple can gain by having a single guy. That truely saddens me. If I ran into couples like you (no offense) I wouldn't swing with you all. I have a lot more to offer than just sex.

[curious24]

Originally Posted by HotMama

I know what you are saying, but We meet very nice single guys every weekend at the local meet and greets.....

Great!

You could argue, but you would be dead wrong... single men are a dime a dozen...

I'm not arguing this point they are a dime a dozen.. what I AM arguing is finding that single guy who just doesn't want an "easy lay." And some how I don't think you'll understand what I'm talking about. If not then my argument is just going to fall on def ears.

We used to get sooo many emails on Swing Lifestyle, that we had to block single men,... we still get a bunch from single males listed as couples.

Did you say you didn't want emails from single guys? I personally never respond or send emails to anyone that says no single guys. Even if they don't say that but their profile they have answered "couples" and "females" i don't send any kind of message. That's just me I respect the decisions of others. With this thread I'm just trying to understand the observation that I made. With all honesty I could care less who you choose to swing with.

If you had a girlfriend and was looking for a couple... not a single male, you would know this....

I've been around here long enough to know this is the "stereotype." Which as unfortunate as it is I'm put into as we are seeing.

I checked out your posts , looks like you have been looking recently... or by "not currently looking" did you mean "not in the last two minutes?"

wtf?

Just wondering how can you look for 4 years and not meet anyone.. do you go to meet and greets , just to meet people?

does it really matter? and why do you seem to care? hmm..
but to answer your question i have meet some people... there haven't been meet and greats anywhere near me.. and if there were and people acted like this i wouldn't even bother going.. hell if people acted like this on here i wouldn't even be here.

[curious24]

Originally Posted by Vespertine

Maybe this is a first step into exploring a possible bisexual side of himself?

(Please feel free to jump all over me if I am assuming way too much, curious24 )

I wanted to respond to both of these

I'm coming to find out that assuming things is were people start to get into trouble. I see assuming as science. You come up with your hypothesis (your assumption) and then you have to do your experiment to see if it's true (asking the person your assuming about if your assumption is true or not). Until you run that experiment you'll never know if it's true or not. You'll just be stuck with a hypothesis as truth and that's not good science is it?

I have found and I am talking to one couple who would like to be friends in and out of the bed room. They want me to go out and do things with them. They want to know what I'm thinking. They want to be friends. That's what I'm looking for. Unfortunately for me they are far away and I haven't had a chance to meet them yet.

With that said... I am also looking for a regular girl friend. I'm sure if you have been reading any of the posts I have been making you would see what I'm going through right now. Also, if you would read my spotlight interview you would find out a ton about me and Vespertine it would answer your question and thanks for asking it and not assuming it !!

[good times]

Originally Posted by curious24

I'm coming to find out that assuming things is were people start to get into trouble. I see assuming as science. You come up with your hypothesis (your assumption) and then you have to do your experiment to see if it's true (asking the person your assuming about if your assumption is true or not). Until you run that experiment you'll never know if it's true or not. You'll just be stuck with a hypothesis as truth and that's not good science is it?

This is why I asked, to see if my assumption is in the ball park. My only experiance with single males is watching their interaction with couples at the club. In my observations, it appears that the guys and the couples involved aren't much interested in what you are. They seem to hook up, have sex, and then go their seperate ways.

Last Saturday we went to the club and were sitting visiting with a couple. A single male came up to our table and introduced himself and sat down. About ten minutes later he and the couple we had been visiting with went in the play room (this couple came to the club specifically looking for a single male). When they returned the couple said their good byes and went home. This seems to pretty much be the norm, so you can probably see how I have made the assumptions that I have. I haven't made those assumptions about you in particular but more about single males in the lifestyle in general. I was interested if you could shed some light on this, and I apreciate your responce.

[HotMama]

Originally Posted by curious24

wtf?


does it really matter? and why do you seem to care? hmm..
but to answer your question i have meet some people... there haven't been meet and greats anywhere near me.. and if there were and people acted like this i wouldn't even bother going.. hell if people acted like this on here i wouldn't even be here.

WTF? What I was saying, is , in your posts (you can see all the posts by a member ,ya know?) It sure seems like you are trying to pursue relationships.... Ya dig?

And I don't care if you meet someone or not, "And if people acted like this, you wouldn't even bother going?" Boy, for a young single male, you sure have thin skin. Maybe after 4 years and no sucess, you should hang it up Surrender

[curious24]

Originally Posted by HotMama

WTF? What I was saying, is , in your posts (you can see all the posts by a member ,ya know?) It sure seems like you are trying to pursue relationships.... Ya dig?

yeah looking for a relationship with a woman.. not with a couple... (btw yes i know thanks )

And I don't care if you meet someone or not, "And if people acted like this, you wouldn't even bother going?" Boy, for a young single male, you sure have thin skin. Maybe after 4 years and no sucess, you should hang it up Surrender

You're right I do have thin skin. The reason for it is that I don't have time to waste nor do I want to waste time with people who think and act that all single men are looking for an "easy lay".. pfft whatever.. I know for myself that's not ture and if I'm put into that category, which most people automatically do, why waste my time with them?

[De and Ci]

Curious24, Have you tried going to Foxxies Firehouse? Their website www.foxxies.com. Its off I35 just north of downtown. We checked it out, didn't like it that much-not much of a dance floor. However they let single guys in. We know someone who is friends with the manager-he told me on a few occasions there has been women who did a gang bang. You may want to go there and see if you can meet some couples or participate in a gang bang. Why don't you go and check it out. Then give us a report. Would like to know what its like from a single guys perspective.

[viper31631]

I'm a 20 something and when i was meeting couples i met one 20 something couple whom was only looking for mfm so they are out there just keep looking

[curious24]

Originally Posted by De and Ci

Curious24, Have you tried going to Foxxies Firehouse? Their website www.foxxies.com. Its off I35 just north of downtown. We checked it out, didn't like it that much-not much of a dance floor. However they let single guys in. We know someone who is friends with the manager-he told me on a few occasions there has been women who did a gang bang. You may want to go there and see if you can meet some couples or participate in a gang bang. Why don't you go and check it out. Then give us a report. Would like to know what its like from a single guys perspective.

I've seen Foxxies before. Didn't know they had a website. One of the main things about it is that it's $50 for single men at the door on some nights and on busy nights it's a freak'n $100! That's just a little out of my price range