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  1. #1

    Default Swinging with older/younger people..

    We are finding it really hard to find couples in our age range in our area. Im courious how people feel about age when they swing with some one or a couple.
    So my question is:
    How many poeple would swing with some one who is as old or older then your own parents? and How many poeple would swing with some one who is as young as or younger then thier adult child?

    For example: My parents are in their early 40s and I cant think of swinging with some one who is their age.. I find that Its just werid.. Im just wondering if I crazy or not..LOL Dont get me wrong I dont consider 40s old Then again maybe its just that my family is young also considering my youngest grandparents are in their late 50s early 60s.
    hope to hear everyones opinions.

  2. #2

    Wink Age make a difference?

    There is certainly no doubt that the closer to your age another couple is, the more common shared interests you will have. Also the higher your chances of goals for your activity together to be similar. Too many years separating folks can certainly diminish any attraction that may have been the basis for contact. Must admit, the prospect of a more mature (older) couple for our first experience in the lifestyle held appeal to both of us. We for some reason surmised no one older could possibly be inexperienced (not true, no apprenticeship or journeyman regimen exists) and since all come in their own time, for their own reasons, you just never know. But we were fortunate, they were not the newbies we were, and they were WAY more comfortable with the prospect, the activity, and it was a good experience for us. Without unexpected jealousies, uncomfortable glares between them, and they were gracious hosts at their home, sharing their pool, hot tub and home with the ease we had hoped for. They remained friends, socially, and although we did attend parties where they were also present, the encounter was not repeated.
    I realize now how brave they must have been to take on such greenhorns - certainly not something we would seek to do. It would be nice to provide others with such a nice first experience, and yes, have done so in the past. But really don't like the prospect of that any longer. Too many variables that can go wrong, and just don't like the upheaval.
    I am sure that you both, like most, can get along quite well socially with folks of all ages. Probably have even enjoyed a night out with the folks on occasion. As we have with our kids, who are grown and married, with families of their own. Would I want to get naked with those of their age group? Not only no - but hell no. Nor would I really want to with those in my folks age group (which is WAY up the ladder from the ages you mention). Since you are both at the young end of the spectrum, don't think there exists too much possibility of those who are too very much younger. I wouldn't set an "age limit" in concrete but a general vicinity boundary, defined more by common interests, goals, and shared activity interests is probably a good yardstick.
    Since we no longer have kids at home, we don't desire those whose time and activity is dictated by young ones still in the nest. We like blues clubs, concerts, clubs with live bands - but really don't desire listening to rap, hip-hop, or jazz even - as we find all to be non-melodic and irritating for the most part. We don't want folks who need to take medications to make their body parts work - or medications that keep the excitment level from being too hazardous on their hearts. We don't enjoy those who find a need to knock the edge off their nerves with liquor or 420 in amounts that cause doubt about functionability, or a recognition next time we meet. These are parameters that are more important to us than numbers. We have known some very young older folks, and some very old younger folks. Prefer those with open minds, wit, humor and a zest for life. An ability to converse on more than three lettered topics, for longer than three minute conversations. An acceptance of themselves and others for the values that matter most. Seek those whose company you both enjoy, and all the rest will come easily.

  3. #3


    I'm 25 and my husband is 40 (41 next month). My step-son is 21. My mom is 55. My dad was much older than my mom, he was 60 when I was born.

    So, my husband is 15 years younger than my mom and I am 15 years younger than my husband and my oldest step-kid is 4 years younger than me.... :-)

    Generally, I have no problem swinging with (and generally prefer) men who are 35-45 years old. I don't think I've ever been with a couple as old as my mom -- that'd make them 30 years older than me.

    An early 40's couple is clearly old enough to have children my age and at least one man did have a daughter older than me. We won't get into the fantasy role playing we did together...

    I've found that my limits are very flexible indeed when it comes to age. I will often step outside of my turn on age if I'm attracted to the individual or couple. That said, I have more problem with a younger (19-24) couple than with an older couple. It seems that since my oldest step-son is 21, I view 21 as "a kid" -- even though I was married at that age and didn't think that I was a kid at the time.

    There is that things in common issue when there is an age difference but there are other social difference that can cause a greater gap of things in common than age. It seems to me that the only real commonalities issue in an age gap is the selection of music -- my taste in music seems to really annoy the over-40 crowd.

    I think that the common ground of sharing sex easily overcomes most differences in age -- so long as some physical attraction remains present. Where I find a greater commonality issue is in socio-economic status or educational differences.

    It's hard to share experience with a couple when one is living paycheck-to-paycheck and the other thinks a $50 meal out is just another night out. Similarly, we can't really have a good relationship with a couple that feels I don't need no book learnin'... while we contribute tens-of-thousands to the higher education system and they can't understand why we care about the finer points of modern usage of the word slut. Of course, if it's just a f**k then those differences don't matter either.

    Some would say that "age is just a number" -- certainly there are other issues that are as important, if not more important than, age. But, I can see too that age is a marker that many use.

    As one who has experienced the age gap first hand -- I'd suggest that we not immediately discount a potential playmate based solely on age; we might miss out on some really wonderful relations. And maybe, you'll find you have more in common than you thought...

    I'd caution though --
    * older guys who are playing with a younger woman may or may not want to play "daddy" -- that game is a real turn-off for my hubby but I have been with a guy who made a really kinky role-play of it. The same goes for women with younger men -- she probably doesn't want to be "mommy".
    * For the ladies that want to play that game, playing "uncle" or "professor" might be emotionally safer...
    * Younger folk who are playing with older folk don't necessarily want to play that game either! We younger folk don't want to be talked to like we're kids. We want to be an equal intimate partner.

  4. #4


    We prefer couples around our age, but we seem to be at the young end of the spectrum anyway. She's less comfortable with older couples than I am, which I think is a shame. There have been a few couples I really enjoyed meeting, that the only objection she has to playing is age.

  5. #5


    Do you think gender has an impact? For instance, my husband finds much older women attractive. He also gravitates towards hanging out with couples/friends who are much older than we are. I for one have always had a hangup about getting older and am not too interested in couples too much older than we are. Not sure why......just the way it is! (He's 32 by the way and I'm hitting 30 this year.)

  6. #6

    Default We have a predetermined range

    We are 49 and 39 and usually play with couples in between our two ages. We did discuss this before we started swinging and pretty much have a harder time with people that are younger that we are than those that are older. Our oldest is 22 and we have had to beg off politely when asked to play by anyone in that age range on several occasions, it would just be too strange. We arbitrarily set our limits at between 30 and 60. It just seems to work for us. Age can play a funny part in a relationship, I am 9 years younger than Mrs Fun's mother and older than 3 of her uncles. But hey it works for us and that is what matters.

  7. #7


    There is a 15 year age difference between my husband and I. My husband is attracted to women of all ages, but I can't find a sexual attraction with those under my age group. (I am 42) I don't really know the reason why, but I prefer older men, I always have.
    Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

  8. #8

    Default Hmmmm

    Originally posted by OhioCouple
    ..... I don't really know the reason why, but I prefer older men, I always have.
    and I cook, too. facelick

  9. #9

    Default Re: Hmmmm

    Originally posted by M&B
    and I cook, too. facelick
    You crack me up! If we ever get the chance to meet at least have a big coming...... I don't care if you are only 18! Oh, and don't forget to light the fire....
    Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

  10. #10


    We have had zero problems meeting up with couples our age. I am a week or so shy of 26 and my wife is 23. Age is kind of funny to me. If you saw me, you would think I was 18 or so. When we first started out, her limit (which I obliged) was 35. Our parents are in the 40-50 category. I myself have no problems with anybodys age. As time went on, we met a couple that we have come pretty close to. Turns out that the male half is 45+. As I said earlier that this is no big deal to me and now it is not to the wife. Once she/we got to know people, that age number goes out the window. Our age has not scared anyone away as of yet.

    We have soft swung with another lady that was pretty close to my wifes folks age.

    Melts in your mouth, not in your hand

  11. #11

    Default Re: Re: Hmmmm

    Originally posted by OhioCouple
    You crack me up! If we ever get the chance to meet at least have a big coming...... I don't care if you are only 18! Oh, and don't forget to light the fire....
    Oh, Mrs O. That is just plain tacky..... sexy as hell, but, tacky.

    Actually, next January, I will reach the half century mark.

    Just last night, I was watching Gretta at the Playboy mansion. They are celebrating Playboy's 50th anniversary. Hugh got bunnies. I'll probably get black balloons.

    And I will still have to cook.

  12. #12

    Default Re: Re: Re: Hmmmm

    Originally posted by M&B
    Actually, next January, I will reach the half century mark.
    Woot! Woot! Mr. M&B is in my lust range....AND HE COOKS! facelick

    Oh, and I am more 'whacky' than 'tacky'.....

    Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

  13. #13

    Default I know, I know.

    Do you know how many years 50 years is?????


    .5 century

    .05 millennia.... hey, I like that one!

    LOL! I used to hate hearing people say "Mr. XXXX" to me. I would say "Hey, that's my father!"

    Now, I AM my father!

    Hell, growing older ain't so bad. Really, it's kid's stuff.

  14. #14


    Do you know how many years 50 years is?????
    five decades
    18,250 days
    2607.14 weeks
    438,000 hours
    608 1/3 months
    2.5 score
    "Two Score Years and ten"

    two score and ten doesn't sound that bad, does it?

    also late middle English Fifti and Olde English Fiftig

    wishing you many more happy years to come.......

  15. #15

    Default Numbers

    A persons number doesn't matter. If you see the persons heart.

    Good hearts can be found in peculiar places. In every age.

    A birthday only counts the amount of love you have gained from every heartbeat, from every smile, from every experience.

    IMHO........ << I learned that in a different post.
    April in Tulsa - it's fun for everyone!

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