Hook ups

[ChefCollette]

This might be a question best directed to people in The Biz. Restaurants that is Or it might be swinger-ish. You be the judge

I have what a dear friend refers to as my "skewed sexuality". I was lucky years ago to get involved in an open relationship which included swinging which opened up a world for me including the chance to try anything and everything sex and sex related. It gave me a greater understanding of my sexuality.

I am not presently partnered. I date often. I'm no longer, except for being on this message board, active in the swinger community and I have no plans to.

My kitchen assistant, a man, wants to hook up with me. He's made that clear it would be social and sexual. We would also keep it to ourselves to stop any gossip. I'm considering this. I have a week before an opportunity would present itself. What I'm interested in hearing from people here is things like is it wise to hook up with staff? Has anyone else gotten involved with anyone non swinger in any way? I wonder about vanilla stuff a little still. Have you ever shocked a partner with your background?

[bryanlee]

I think getting together with co-workers can turn out badly if you aren't careful. Lot's of people say they can keep things casual, but few really can. If you trust him enough to keep your secret and not to "fall in love" then i might go for it, but that's just me. Good luck and let us know how it turns out.

Bryan

[Alura]

Is there something wrong with "falling in love?"

Mrs. Alura and I met when we both worked for the same company but in different divisions. Although I didn't directly supervise her, I was the vice-president of the company and she managed one of our retail stores. I broke several rules by falling in love with her but I've not been sorry for the past twenty-eight years.

Yes, developing relationships with co-workers can be problematic, but it can also be very rewarding indeed!

Mr. Alura

[prettylady]

The thing with "keeping it to yourself" is it never stays that way.
I have had two jobs where a male co-worker was intersted in me and no matter how hard they tried to keep it to themselves it always seemed someone figured it out. One of these co-workers was a married man, I knew he had a thing for me. I tried to keep it professional, but in the end I had to transfere because he couldn't get over his "fixation" and the rumours started to mill about.
People pick up on sexual tension more then we realize. If you want a secret relationship keep it outside of your work place.
Your friend,
Prettylady

[bryanlee]

Originally Posted by ChefCollette

My kitchen assistant, a man, wants to hook up with me. He's made that clear it would be social and sexual.

Of course there isn't anything wrong with falling in love. It's one of the greatest things that can happen to a person....if it's what you are looking for. I was basing my comment from the above quote. It seemed to me that she was after casual sex. Although many say they can enjoy casual sex, I have seen it too many times where they have trouble separating casual sex and their feelings. You only want sex...they want more....it goes down hill from there.

Bryan

[3sumff]

You know this issue seems to come up a lot, and I always think what is the right answer to it. I personally think it goes both ways. It most definitely can go bad, really bad. It can also go really good. My gf and I are open to it, but we are also very cautious of who we play with. The only thing I can say to you "ChefCollette" is to test the waters out. Give this individual every chance to ruin things. Tell this person some made up personal thing about yourself and see what they do with it. If they spill the beans, then you know this person can't be trusted. Both my gf and I use this method to wean out the "trustworthy" people. It works all the time.

[ChefCollette]

I think you all have a pretty good handle on what I'm asking, from your responses. Yes I'd have to make sure he would be able to keep his mouth shut, so I like the suggestion of a test tidbit I'm' not somewhere that I would want to leave. My career would really suffer if I blew this gig or had to quit.

No, I can't say that even having casual sex prevents falling for someone, although with my track record I'm usually the one keeping it casual

My third question, about the skewed sexuality, is maybe better on another thread but for now I haven't hid anything about myself before and it's maybe not a swinger thing that someone has an advanced or somewhat different sexuality. The response from the guy has usually been "jackpot!"

Maybe that part comes down to getting to know your partner and has nothing to do with anything but that.

The Kitchen Assistant took the week off and I don't have to rush a decision about this. Right now I'm thinking of saying no because of my career.

[two4youinswva]

Originally Posted by ChefCollette

I'm' not somewhere that I would want to leave. My career would really suffer if I blew this gig or had to quit.

I think you've answered the question right there.


Of course, you could fire his ass, help him get a gig at another establishment, then screw like rabbits.