[HELP] Love life advice?!

[curious24]

So I had been seeing this one woman. She and I pretty much hit it off. We both told each other that we didn't play by the rules. When I say rules I mean we didn't wait the typical day or so before calling. She didn't give me the typical card for my bday, she instead went all out. etc. etc. So when I asked her to go out for our first offical date I had a couple weeks to plan it because of our schedules.

The third week of seeing each other I did the big adventure date because I thought it would be special and fun. It totally blew her away. Then the next week she became very introverted. I didn't get to see her but once and when I did see her she wouldn't let me be affectionate with her. Then there was the big move. I went to help her move along with some of her other friends. Appearently I didn't help correctly, but she didn't tell me I wasn't doing anything wrong. Instead it ate at her until she exploded a day later. She basically said that she felt as though I didn't want to be there, that others did more work than I, and that I wasn't a gentleman at all. I told her that I didn't see it that way. That I was trying to expidite the move because I knew others had to be places later that day. Also, if she felt like I wasn't doing something correctly she should have said something because I had no idea. She shouldn't have let it eat at her the way it did. She said that she didn't feel comfortable in telling me however, if I would have been a friend of her's and not a love interested she would have had no problem in telling me. I told her that I wouldn't have cared. It was her move and if I was doing something that she didn't agree with she just should have told me and I wouldn't of had a problem with doing whatever.

At any rate, this leads me to her calling me and breaking it off with me. She said that her mind, reason, and logic are all telling her to date me that this is a very good thing. However, her gut is telling her that it just isn't going to work out. So she went with her gut.

I think it has more to do with her previous boy friend of 2 years that she doesn't talk to anymore. They broke up now 8 months ago but she always talks about how much she misses his friendship. Now I'm kind of in the same boat. She just wants to be "really good friends" with me because she's afraid that if things don't work out between us she will lose me as a friend. I told her up front that I just can't do the friends thing with someone I'm seriously interested in. That's just not how I work. But regardless now I'm in that situation where I have to make a decision.

This is very frustrating for me because this is the first woman that I have met in 5 years that is just incredible. We have a TON in common it's totally insane. We ALWAYS have a good time together it's nuts. She very attractive both mentally and physically for me. I could see this relationship really working out well. The thing is I think her being 24 and her getting out of her first serious relationship only 8 months ago (it took me a good year and a half to get over my first serious relationship) that I don't think she's ready for anything yet. That is just killing me because as much as my reason and logic are telling me to stay friends with her, my feelings for her are trumping them and it's driving me nuts.

This "really good friends" thing just isn't going to work for me. At the same time this woman is really exactly what I'm looking for in a mate.

We still talk on occasion because we are "friends" and I know I can not continue doing this to myself. I am going to sit down and have coffee with her sometime soon about all of this. I've already told her that I needed to talk with her. I just don't want to say anything that might push her more away at the same time I want to come across and let her know that I can not do this "friends" stuff because I just don't work that way.

In a perfect world she would see what she's missing out on and we would just go back to where we were with better communication.

Anyway, the reason for this long post is taht I would like to know if any of you all had any advice for me? What should I say to her? I am going to be totally honest with her. At the same time I'm definately not going to give her any kind of ultimatium.

Thanks.

[Vespertine]

Maybe she felt like you were moving things too fast?

You mentioned that you told her you didn't follow the "typical dating rules". I'm sure you said that with the best intentions but maybe she felt like things were progressing too fast. Getting too intense for her. Did you have contact with her everyday?

When she began acting unaffectionate you probably should have slowed down and backed off. If she was unable to express her frustrations with you about the move she obviously wasn't as comfortable with you as you seemed to be with her. In all honesty, it seems to me she was just looking for an excuse to argue and put distance between you. Did you bring up having a relationship with her? If so, for only dating a few weeks that might have made her uncomfortable.

I know (for me anyway) if someone appears too eager to be with me I'm not flattered.
I am thinking they are desperate. I find that to be not only unattractive but also a major turn-off. I think most women would agree.

The old saying comes to mind: "How can I miss you if you won't go away?".

In a perfect world she would see what she's missing out on and we would just go back to where we were with better communication

The above quote from you makes me a bit uneasy and kind of reinforces my "desperate" theory.
I don't say this with the intentions of upsetting you- I say this because you're asking for advice and it is the best advice I can give you.

Meet her for coffee-- BUT do not bring up anything intimate. Don't ask her why she doesn't want to be with you. Just enjoy her company.
If you feel like you can't "just be friends" with her- Don't call her again. She'll get the hint.

[curious24]

Originally Posted by Vespertine

Maybe she felt like you were moving things too fast?

This I do know she was thinking because she told me so. Although I never once asked for a relationship or any type of commitment. I was very content on hanging out with her and having the affectionate relationship that was happening. I think that the incredible date I did for her (it was really cool a choose your own adventure kind of date with a whole story line I created and at the end of the night ended up back at my place in a romantic setting etc it was very cool) was just way over the top. However, that's the kind of person I am. When I get into something I usually go overboard on it. Does this mean I'm desperate? hmm.. I dunno... I would hope not as I just like doing cool unique special things for people that I care about.

You mentioned that you told her you didn't follow the "typical dating rules". I'm sure you said that with the best intentions but maybe she felt like things were progressing too fast. Getting too intense for her. Did you have contact with her everyday?

Yes I had contact with her everyday. However, I wasn't the one doing the contacting. She would call me in the morning and at night when she got off from work. I called her a few times every now and then but I didn't want to smother her at all. I wanted things to move along at her pace.

When she began acting unaffectionate you probably should have slowed down and backed off. If she was unable to express her frustrations with you about the move she obviously wasn't as comfortable with you as you seemed to be with her. In all honesty, it seems to me she was just looking for an excuse to argue and put distance between you. Did you bring up having a relationship with her? If so, for only dating a few weeks that might have made her uncomfortable.

I never brought up the idea of having a relationship with her as I knew it would push her away. I think the "awesomeness" of the date I did for her made her think that I wanted something like a relationship when even I am hesitant about getting into something serious real quick (I told her time and time again that I too wanted to take things slow and see how they went etc). In all honesty with her backing away from me (and yes I totally noticed it and I respected it) I gave her space. I did tell her that I felt like she didn't want to see me at all and if she needed her space just to say so and I wouldn't have a problem giving it to her. I did also mention that I didn't want to be the brunt of rude behavior in order to get her message across. A nice "i need my space" would do and I would accept that and take a step back.

I know (for me anyway) if someone appears too eager to be with me I'm not flattered.
I am thinking they are desperate. I find that to be not only unattractive but also a major turn-off. I think most women would agree.

I've been thinking about this. I hope I didn't come off too eager for her. I really did/do think we could have something very special. I was trying to take things slow I guess I just jumped the gun with this date. Everyone she's told about the date was amazed at how awesome it was and is shocked that she stopped things. The thing is that I just don't want to lose her and I KNOW if I talk about dating etc she'll never get back with me. At the same time she gave me the "friends" line which might as well be the kiss of death.

The old saying comes to mind: "How can I miss you if you won't go away?".

you definitely got a point there.. hmm question: what if others talk to her about me? and i just kind of was off to the side.. would that be okay? kind of like having someone else come to bat for me?

The above quote from you makes me a bit uneasy and kind of reinforces my "desperate" theory.
I don't say this with the intentions of upsetting you- I say this because you're asking for advice and it is the best advice I can give you.

and i'm very grateful for you being so up front and honest to me. No one has given me this angle and this is exactly what I need to hear! so Thank You!

Meet her for coffee-- BUT do not bring up anything intimate. Don't ask her why she doesn't want to be with you. Just enjoy her company.
If you feel like you can't "just be friends" with her- Don't call her again. She'll get the hint.

I wasn't ever going to ask her why she doesn't need to be with me nonononono.. I don't even think I want to know Right now my thought process on this was that I was going to get coffee with her, enjoy her company, and let her know that if she ever did want to get back together that she would have to come after me (hell I went after her once got her and she took off.. so I really don't want to have to "get" her again you know?) by asking me for coffee, lunch or something that would be considered "safe." She would just have to let me know some how that she was interested in trying things out again and that I would pick up on them and ask her to dinner/date etc but she would definitely have to be the pursuer. The thing is that I want her to know that I may not ever call her again.

I don't know if I should tell her this as it might freak her out more so advice on this would be great too I do not enjoy going out with a group of friends and she is there. The reason being is she pretty much ignores me and isn't affectionate. However, she is affectionate with just about everyone else there and is very talkative with all of them there. It's pretty much a living hell to be there and I can not and will not go through that ever again (yes I did it once this past weekend to "test" things out). I just can't handle that at all. So my thing is that if I can't hang out with her one on one and have her attention then I might as well not hang out with her at all because she won't give me any if we are in a big group anyway so why even be there?

That is what I don't know if I should tell her or not? I'm leaning towards no and just when she calls me to go out with her and a bunch of friends just tell her I'm busy. But if she calls me to go out with just her for lunch or coffee then sure I can do that no problems. I think I could handle that and that would be totally reasonable. What do you think?

I guess I just need to know what would be "safe" to talk about but still getting my message across to her. hmm...

The only other thing I know I'm not going to be able to handle is if she starts seeing someone new. I really REALLY do NOT want to go through that at all. I know if I'm there when she does meet someone new I'm going to blow a fuse (I'll never let her see it though) but I really don't think I can handle that for a long long time. I honestly just don't know what to do =/

Well I guess I should end this short story here.. thanks for reading!

[JustAskJulie]

I guess I don't understand the whole "I can't be good friends with someone I'm seriously interested in". The largest part of any serious relationship is that friendship and friendship should be the foundation upon which the rest of the relationship is built. So by allowing her this, and showing her that you are really there for her, you not only give her time to heal from her previous relationship but you give yourselves (both of you) time to develop the friendship that should be the basis of your relationship anyway.

If she's really that great then she's worth breaking your rules for. If she's really that great then she's not someone you just want to walk away from because you can't have things on your terms. Sometimes you have to comprimise to get what you want.

[curious24]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

I guess I don't understand the whole "I can't be good friends with someone I'm seriously interested in". The largest part of any serious relationship is that friendship and friendship should be the foundation upon which the rest of the relationship is built. So by allowing her this, and showing her that you are really there for her, you not only give her time to heal from her previous relationship but you give yourselves (both of you) time to develop the friendship that should be the basis of your relationship anyway.

If she's really that great then she's worth breaking your rules for. If she's really that great then she's not someone you just want to walk away from because you can't have things on your terms. Sometimes you have to comprimise to get what you want.

Yes exactly. I can totally see your point and totally agree with it. The thing is that I don't want to give her too much friendship. I really don't want be there when she starts seeing someone new (I honestly don't think I could handle that). (I'm probably not going to say this right but I'll do my best) I don't want to be a good friend to her and give her the best friendship she's ever had in hopes that I get her back but then to have my heart ripped out yet again for a second time. I don't want to give her that "girlfriend" status of friendship when I'm not going to recieve anthing back.

I dunno. I guess this is just a risk. Do I want to risk having my heart cut out with a spoon and then jumped up and down on with golf cleats again? Can *I* handle that? Heart break is awful but to go through it twice with the same person I just don't know. And should I even tell her this is what I'm thinking?

I think it's exactly this that I am trying to decide on. Is all hope lost with her? or is there still some hope left? Maybe I should be there as a "friend" and if she starts seeing someone new I'll probably freak out and never talk to her again cause I just can't seem to handle that at all.

I'm a freak'n wreak. women pfft! lol I guess all I can do is ask for advice and see what others have done and then decide for myself what I want to do.

Thanks so much for your advice Julie it really does mean a lot to me.

[Vespertine]

Originally Posted by curious24

hmm question: what if others talk to her about me? and i just kind of was off to the side.. would that be okay? kind of like having someone else come to bat for me?

I don't think that's a good idea either.
If ya'll have mutual friends and you try to use them to gain information from her it could make an uncomfortable situation even more uncomfortable for the both of you--and possibly make your friends uncomfortable. It may even make people feel compelled to "choose sides".

She would just have to let me know some how that she was interested in trying things out again and that I would pick up on them and ask her to dinner/date etc but she would definitely have to be the pursuer. The thing is that I want her to know that I may not ever call her again.
I don't know if I should tell her this as it might freak her out more so advice on this would be great too

I think it might freak her out more. She might feel like you're always going to be "lurking" in the background waiting for her to make a move. I know it will be hard but you're going to have to keep the lunch conversation superfiicial.

I do not enjoy going out with a group of friends and she is there. The reason being is she pretty much ignores me and isn't affectionate. However, she is affectionate with just about everyone else there and is very talkative with all of them there.

This is why you can't bring up any intimate conversation with her at lunch. She is probably ignoring you because she feels that she may lead you on if she gives you attention. If she feels you're not constantly seeking her affection she'll probably be able to resume the friendship ya'll had before.

So my thing is that if I can't hang out with her one on one and have her attention then I might as well not hang out with her at all because she won't give me any if we are in a big group anyway so why even be there?

Do you associate with the same group of friends? If they are friends that you've met through her it might be wise not to hang out for awhile and back away.
If it is a mutual group of friends then you're going to have to concentrate just on your friends and not on her. It may be akward for awhile but eventually if things are handled correctly you'll probably resume your old friendship with her.

That is what I don't know if I should tell her or not? I'm leaning towards no

Nope. Don't tell her. You're leaning towards "No" because you know (deep down) you shouldn't tell her. Listen to your gut!

when she calls me to go out with her and a bunch of friends just tell her I'm busy. But if she calls me to go out with just her for lunch or coffee then sure I can do that no problems. I think I could handle that and that would be totally reasonable. What do you think?

Does she still call you? It sounds like she's giving you mixed signals. *frown*
If you're not close to the group of friends she's inviting you out with- then don't go. Don't put yourself through anymore mixed signals. If she calls you to go out to lunch or coffee- I'd decline as well (at least a few times).

I guess I just need to know what would be "safe" to talk about but still getting my message across to her. hmm...

Don't try to get your message through. Just talk about other things....work, school, hobbies. Superficial conversation.

The only other thing I know I'm not going to be able to handle is if she starts seeing someone new. I really REALLY do NOT want to go through that at all. I know if I'm there when she does meet someone new I'm going to blow a fuse (I'll never let her see it though) but I really don't think I can handle that for a long long time. I honestly just don't know what to do

If you can't mask your feelings you're going to have to cut off ALL contact.
If the group that ya'll hang out with are not close friends of yours it would be wise to keep your distance. Don't torture yourself.

[stoutgatte]

Originally Posted by Julie

I guess I don't understand the whole "I can't be good friends with someone I'm seriously interested in".

Most women struggle with this idea, but when a guy is in love with a girl (as curious24 obviously is) he needs physical intimacy to be comfortable with the situation. If he isn't getting it, he is constantly on the lookout for others who are a threat to him getting intimate with the girl. At the same time he is always looking out for ways to get closer to the girl in question. Not exactly a situation to promote friendship on any level...

Sadly curious24, I'm of the opinion that you should put your feelings on the backburner. Maybe call her every 2nd week or so and take her out for coffee, if there is any hope this may get things back on track. At the same time be prepared that she might have felt the last pangs and decided to move on.

Good luck...

[curious24]

Originally Posted by stoutgatte

Most women struggle with this idea, but when a guy is in love with a girl (as curious24 obviously is) he needs physical intimacy to be comfortable with the situation. If he isn't getting it, he is constantly on the lookout for others who are a threat to him getting intimate with the girl. At the same time he is always looking out for ways to get closer to the girl in question. Not exactly a situation to promote friendship on any level...

*dink* nail on the head

[curious24]

Originally Posted by Vespertine

I don't think that's a good idea either.
If ya'll have mutual friends and you try to use them to gain information from her it could make an uncomfortable situation even more uncomfortable for the both of you--and possibly make your friends uncomfortable. It may even make people feel compelled to "choose sides".

I think it might freak her out more. She might feel like you're always going to be "lurking" in the background waiting for her to make a move. I know it will be hard but you're going to have to keep the lunch conversation superfiicial.

Well I haven’t talked to any of her friends and none of my friends are talking to her or any of them because of exactly this. The last thing I want to be is a “lurker” ugh. That’s almost as bad as a stalker :lol

This is why you can't bring up any intimate conversation with her at lunch. She is probably ignoring you because she feels that she may lead you on if she gives you attention. If she feels you're not constantly seeking her affection she'll probably be able to resume the friendship ya'll had before.

stoutgatte said it well..

Most women struggle with this idea, but when a guy is in love with a girl (as curious24 obviously is) he needs physical intimacy to be comfortable with the situation. If he isn't getting it, he is constantly on the lookout for others who are a threat to him getting intimate with the girl. At the same time he is always looking out for ways to get closer to the girl in question. Not exactly a situation to promote friendship on any level...

Do you associate with the same group of friends? If they are friends that you've met through her it might be wise not to hang out for awhile and back away.
If it is a mutual group of friends then you're going to have to concentrate just on your friends and not on her. It may be akward for awhile but eventually if things are handled correctly you'll probably resume your old friendship with her.

I met her through the friends we both know. I knew all her friends way before her. I’m still backing away from them all because usually when I’m hanging out with them she’ll call them to see what’s going on and try to plan something. I get a little irritated and I feel a little embarrassed when that happens because she never calls me to join them. That just doesn’t feel good… er…

Nope. Don't tell her. You're leaning towards "No" because you know (deep down) you shouldn't tell her. Listen to your gut!

Exactly, that is what my gut is telling me. But that’s not who I really am. Should I not be who I am to her anymore? I’m thinking not. Now don’t get me wrong I’m not going to say anything intimate and I hope I don’t come off desperate but I have a rough idea of what I’m going to say. I’ll post it below to get your reactions. At the same time I am entertaining the idea of keeping this all superficial like you said b/c I think I might get her back that way. But I’m not a superficial person. I usually say what’s on my mind and I try to be tactful about it because if I don’t it just eats away at me and IMO that’s just not healthy.

Does she still call you? It sounds like she's giving you mixed signals. *frown*
If you're not close to the group of friends she's inviting you out with- then don't go. Don't put yourself through anymore mixed signals. If she calls you to go out to lunch or coffee- I'd decline as well (at least a few times).

Yes she does… but sometimes I can handle the calls and sometimes I can’t. Therefore, she asks me if I’m mad at her, which I’m not, but at the same time I might be a little short with her. Really though what does she expect she freak’n broke up with me! Lol. But I’m definitely not going out with her and a group of friends again. I can’t handle that at all. I’ll probably go to lunch with her the first couple of times but then on and off from then on. I don’t want her to think that I don’t want to see or talk to her.

Don't try to get your message through. Just talk about other things....work, school, hobbies. Superficial conversation.

I’m at a maybe with this one. But definitely I’m going to talk about superficial things once I get things off my chest. If I even get that far.

If you can't mask your feelings you're going to have to cut off ALL contact.
If the group that ya'll hang out with are not close friends of yours it would be wise to keep your distance. Don't torture yourself.

This is exactly what I usually do. The thing is that finding someone of her caliber is very rare for me. After my first serious relationship I figured out what it was I wanted. None of those qualities where in my first relationship. To tell you the truth this is the first girl that I have ever met that what it seems to be all the things I’m looking for in a person. That scares me.. and I know it scares her too, hence part of the reason why she is pulling away. In the past 5 years that I have been single and knowing what I want in a person and a relationship she fits the bill almost to the “T” so far so it’s like I don’t want to just cut and run now that she wants to be “friends” but at the same time that is what my gut is telling me to do. “there are more fish in the sea” people tell me. That is true but 99% of those fish suck and finding that 1% is like swingers trying to find that nice single guy or that all elusive sane single bi female.. heh

Anyway, here’s what I’m thinking about telling her when I have coffee with her. This is 100% who I am and not superficial at all.

I'm going to preface the conversation with when we started out we both said we didn't play by the typical rules, hence the reason why I am going to tell her how I feel. Because of that it's actually got us to the point where we are now. Also, because of it it might be the cause of us not even continuing as friends. I don't want to look desperate mainly because I'm not (hell I have been single for 5 years because I'm seriously picky about who I choose to be with) but I want to let her know how I am feeling. I don't want to be "lurking" in the background waiting and I also don't want her to feel like she's leading me on if she gives me attention. But I have no idea where we might have the capability of going, but I had been feeling very positive in that regards and had been looking forward to seeing where it could have gone (I don’t think I should use the word relationship considering the level of commitment that suggests especially considering that’s what she is so afraid of). (I wouldn't say anything about her previous relationship, as she is adamant that she is over it when clearly she isn't so I'm going to stay far away from it). But perhaps I had been incorrect in thinking she viewed it the same way - but I don't believe so (especially considering what she had told me several times i.e. I told her that I always felt that I would do or say something to have her stop liking me but she kept telling me that I could never do that among other things she would say). Also, that I think she too is interested in what COULD transpire considering how she told me that everything was telling her to give ‘us’ a shot, it was just her ‘gut’ telling her she was not prepared to take the journey at this time. I am going through the same tug of war and therefore I am going to take a step back and continue leading my day to day life in the manner most pleasing to me without the thought of her and the possibilities being a portion of my day. Not to say, I don't think the possibilities exist -- just recognizing that the timing to pursue them isn't right now. I will even begin over time to view it as a missed opportunity, maybe.

I will continue being myself as I always have been and if at some point in the future we want to give it a shot again I would hope that she will feel comfortable enough to let me know that. I'm not going to assume anything without specific words from her because 'hints' are impossible to read and can be misread all the time. And finally she should not leap to any conclusions about my feelings or thoughts without discussing them with me.

(end of what I would say)

I don't know how many of you have seen the movie High Fidelity but I thought this quote fit my situation well.

"So what am I going to do now? Just keep jumping from rock to rock for the rest of my life until there aren't any rocks left? Should I bolt every time I get that feeling in my gut when I meet someone new? I've been thinking with my gut since I was fourteen years old and frankly speaking I've come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains."

--John Cusack - High Fidelity

Anyway, for some reason I’m all about finding the middle of the road on things. Maybe I should start a new political movement! Lol

Thanks again for all your great advice! I really do appreciate it!

I think you are pushing away her even further. She is probably getting to the point where when she sees you she thinks "God here we go again, What is going to happen this time?" Which is leading her to avoid you when she sees you in a social setting.

I would be willing to bet if you get together with her and do not bring up relationship issues AT ALL and just talk about life in general she would walk away thinking "I enjoyed myself today". If she enjoys your company she will be willing to see you more often.

I do not think that would be superficial at all. If you care about her as much as you say you do (and I believe you do) then you do genuinely care what is going on in her life outside of relationship issues because you love her as a whole person. That is not being superficial IMO.

[Vespertine]

Originally Posted by Mr&Mrs-naughty

I would be willing to bet if you get together with her and do not bring up relationship issues AT ALL and just talk about life in general she would walk away thinking "I enjoyed myself today". If she enjoys your company she will be willing to see you more often.

I do not think that would be superficial at all. If you care about her as much as you say you do (and I believe you do) then you do genuinely care what is going on in her life outside of relationship issues because you love her as a whole person. That is not being superficial IMO.

That's exactly what I meant by choosing the word superficial. There was probably a better word choice I should have used. Keep all talk away from relationships- past, present and future. Just focus on having a nice time at lunch and enjoy her company. Don't let the conversation get too intense or too deep.

That's exactly what I meant by choosing the word superficial. There was probably a better word choice I should have used

.

It is definately possible I am interpeting the term wrong

I interpet superficial to mean fake conversation. That is people who are pretending to be into a conversation you are having. They dont really care what you have to say they are just being fake and acting like they care. Or they are pretending to be someone they are not.

[stoutgatte]

Ermmmm, listen to these women, I believe they hit the nail on the head. Totally.

[Vespertine]

No, Your definition is right too. It means shallow. That is the most widely accepted definition of the word in our country. I didn't mean it in that context though.

I meant it to mean: to keep a conversation along the surface- keeping it trivial and not going into too much depth.

[curious24]

I just wanted to give you an update.

There is no way in hell I'm ever talking to this girl ever again. That's too bad really for her considering I have two things of hers that she collects and are worth about $160.

She did the rudest thing that I think has ever been done to me ever. I'm still really pissed off about it and it's tough getting me mad. She asked me to go to a concert with her a little over a month ago. When she broke things off she kept asking me if I wanted to go. I kept saying yes. Yesterday was the concert it started at 7. So last week I called her a couple of times and she didn't return my calls. So yesterday at about 4:30 I called her to find out what the deal was because it takes about an hour to get to the concert and then you have to factor in traffic so probably a couple hours to get there. So I call and some dude named kevin (i have NO idea who kevin is) was at her place and she said she couldn't talk and that she would call me back in a few minutes. Well she never called me back. Since she bought the tickets of the concert a long time ago I'm assuming that she went.

Here's the thing regardless of if she went or not she should have called me and let me know that either A) she wasn't going to the concert anymore or B) she didn't want me to go and she asked someone else. BUT NOOOO she couldn't do that. That would be too mature, nice, considerate, etc. She just opted not to freak'n call me at all.

OMG!! I'm so pissed off. I can't think straight.

Anyone know of good anger management things I could do?