Birthday party dilemma????

[mwsw4ever]

My wife wants to throw me a nice 30th birthday blowout at our house and wants to hire a stripper for me. Problem is we want to invite our married vanilla friends and some of our swinger friends,no family. Problem is some of our vanilla friends don't know what me and my wife do and things may get a little crazy with the stripper. The wives of the vanilla friends might be offended by the stripper and some of the things i might do ...facelick .
The same wives might get mad that their men are looking at a naked woman.We don't want to start any fights amongst the wives and hubbys about seeing a stripper and we don't want to have 2 seperate parties.Should we tell everyone what will be going on that night and respect them if they wish not to come? Any ideas .Thanks.

[fun_pairTX]

You have to have some division between your vanilla and your swing friends unless you are prepared to go totally public. If you have alcohol, maybe some 420, and a stripper in the same place with a bunch of swingers you aren't going to be able to keep a lid on things. We don't want to start fights between couples either, but they either have a sense of humor or they don't. If they can't tolerate a stripper why have them in a room full of swingers? Either separate the two parties or bag the whole idea of a party at all.

[farmboy_sk]

A stripper from your wife, sounds wonderful!!!! I'd be happy to be at that party, so would most of my male freinds. I know some of the vanilla wives would be tolerant to appreciative, but I expect that even they would expect that proper conduct would exclude any significant physical interaction between you and the stripper. Sure a caress here, a feel there would be acceptable; however, anything beyond that would lead to questions from the tolerant and a stripper would not be at all accepted by the straight laced wives. The other thing is having a stripper come to a house party that involves freinds from your neighborhood, will likely make you the talk of the town, unless you are very open about your lifestyle, and live in an open-minded neighborhood, you could become social outcasts.

So right here you need to think about how to separate the vanilla freinds from the swing freinds. This becomes even more problematic if you think that the strippers act might be a catalyst for some of your swinger freinds to really get the party going and possibly embarass some of your vanilla guests.

I know it will be a lot more work, but two separate parties is the safe choice, if you have some vanilla freinds, that you think might be inclined to consider swinging and you want to find out how they would react, you could invite them to the stripper party, but be prepared for the strain on your freindship that could ensue if you guess wrong and embarass them.

[jim-n-nicole]

I agree...sounds like two separate parties are in order. Farmboy's right.

Jim.

"Don't cross the streams" - Egon

[Denver2some]

Originally Posted by fun_pairTX

If you have alcohol, maybe some 420, and a stripper in the same place with a bunch of swingers you aren't going to be able to keep a lid on things.

We agree with fun_pairTX. An accidental "outing" is a huge risk when there is alcohol involved. We would advise you have one party for the vanillas (no stripper,) and another party for the swingers (with stripper.)

If you can't do two parties ... pick one. It's really the safest way to go.

[mwsw4ever]

Thanks for the suggestions.After reading farmboy's post we decided to do seperate parties.Because our swinger friends are a little on the wild side.I guess i can't have my cake and eat it too .Our have my stripper and eat her too facelick .

[onenosbest]

We would have done the same.. We have friends who are straight that work with hub and we have the swingers we meet all over. With his line of work we would not dare put both parties together..

[islandgirl]

whew I was glad to see that question....we are newbies to this and think we are on the right track to finding like minded people where we live, and there is a b'day coming soon....mine.....I am really excited as it could turn into a great deal of fun.....that is based on what I have heard of some of the previous parties that my hosts have thrown....my hubby has said he thought he should invite some of our friends who are absolutely vanilla, I have said I thought it a bad idea, for just the reasons stated here......so glad I read this in time to show him how it could be a problem!!!!

[intuition897]

Originally Posted by jim-n-nicole

"Don't cross the streams" - Egon

Yup, some things just don't mix well. If you guys are confident that you can maintain your dignified posture under the wilting glare of the straight-laced vanillas of whom, undoubtedly, there will be at least a few...AND you're both comfortable if the cat did happen to get out of the bag, then I'd say go ahead with a single party. Bear in mind, those are some mighty big 'if's. At the very least, you could promise all your vanilla guests that they can count on it being "not your average ordinary kind of birthday party", and that your wife has arranged for a stripper as a birthday present. Let them be forewarned. That should weed out the...um...more inhibited crowd. If you want to keep things at a kind of happy medium, I'd also suggest letting your swinger guests know that it IS a mixed party, but even though things are going to be a little wilder than is usually "vanilla", would they please not try to convert anyone or allow themselves to get too carried away? And maybe define specifically what "too carried away" is.

Safest and least stressful would be setting up two parties, though. That would be my best suggestion.

[SluttyWife]

Got one...announce in your invites that the strippers will arrive at midnight.
Those who want to avoid them can.

Then enjoy!

[RAFAEL195492]

Word of wisdom, Never mix pleasure with vanilla friends or family. Have a party with your swinging friends, then have one with your straight (vanilla) friends. I learned from my beatings when I tried something to extent.

[Two4funinpa]

I agree seperate party's would be the safest. We have close neighbor friends who are aware that we have walked at least once on the wild side of life...and they blame me..."the female half ...it is all my fault" and this was about 4 years ago. We we confronted by them and we were honest with our reply... We have considered mixing vanillia friends and spicy friends at a pool party but have chickened out because we still have to live here. We fear it would not go well even though our vanillia friends are not a dull stuffed shirt group in any way. Just that the stigma still pops it's head out of the shurbs evey now and then and it has been four years... they think we only tried it once. Not that we have been and still practice this for 7 plus years. Seperate party's will save a lot of hard feelings....I would really becareful to even have the swing party at your home...especially if some of those who were invited to the vanilla party live close by...so you don't have any surprise guests show up when they hear the party going on.

[RNDNV]

For those most part, there are very few "firm rules" in the Lifestyle, HOWEVER, there was one almost universal rule we learned from our early "long-time swing mentors" that is tried and true and that is:

NEVER mix your Vertical and Horizontal friends.

[soniadan]

We've been at vanilla parties that get pretty wild too. They just don't call it "swinging" when the chicks start making out with each other on the dance floor.
It's hard to say what to do or not do. Certainly depends on how open minded your vanilla friends are. We know vanilla couples that go to strip bars together but don't actively search out other people to have sex with.

In our experience, most people are curious about this lifestyle but are so bound by morals/ethics/the way they were brought up that they'll never even bother to give it a try.

Seperate is a good idea unless you know for sure your vanilla friends are cool with it.

-S