Breaking the ice?

[couplentulsa]

ok everyone! Question?

Whats a good way to break the ice? It seems when we meet a nice couple and we all know everyone is interested, we never know how to make a move? The times your just hanging out in the living room talking. I always find it hard to make the first move in case I seem too pushy to someone. Just because I hate pushy, handsey people myself.....Hubby usually doesnt have a problem. He just make a joke of "getting busy".....which often leads to puting people on the spot.

of course the best swinging expierences we have had has been spotanious,
hot n' steamy with no wierd feelings. but there has been some awkward times for us and always look back and try to figure out what could have done to broke the ice.

Do you guys have some good ice breakers?

I am usualy the one who breaks the ice. If I/we know all are interested I will just bring it up. Sometimes with words. I will bring up the subject of swinging & sex. After all it is how we met. I have found it kind of weird how we can meet someone thru swinging and everyone knows (or at least has a pretty good idea) that everyone is interested but everyone is afraid to bring it up.
I will give myself an internal pep talk. My internal pep talk pretty much consists of telling my self "self, how long are we going to play these silly little games? We met for sex, we are all getting along so just make the move. Its not like we met in church." If it turns out they are not interested then they shouldnt be offended. like I said that is how we met.

Not sure why that is. But it happens more often than not.

Sometimes I will start giving the female half of the couple a foot rub & then take it from there.

If we are with a single male I will ask him to help me give mrs naughty a massage.
But that has only happened once. Usualy if we get to the point that a single male actualy shows up its Game On!

[stoutgatte]

We're still pretty new and also struggling with this bit.

I do feel that someone who (like you it seems) are concious of other people's feelings are not very likely to be pushy. And can easily push themselves a little. If no-one takes the lead, everyone will hang back untill it feels too wierd to go forward. At these times an adult game or something can work nicely, but are a little clinical, and we try to avoid them if possible...

I prefer the spontaneous situations, they are way better...

[good times]

We have this same problem, just this last Saturday we were talking to a couple we have known for some time and because we had been out late the night before and we were kind of tired we said we were going to go home. Right away the male of the couple said "don't you guys want to play tonight?". Well we changed plans right quick and had one of the best nights we can remember. My point is that we haven't yet figured out this part either and it isn't unusuall for us to find out after a couple has moved on that they were originally interested in us but we didn't see the signs. So for us I hate to say it usually takes the direct approach because it seems like we suck at the suttle methods.

I know what you mean about people who are to pushy too. Friday night this couple aproached us at the club and my wife and I were interested at first but the guy was a little full of himself when interacting with Mrs. GT and the more he talked the less interested she became. Then he started getting pushy and I new it was over for them because that is a definite deal killer for us. I am reasonably certain that having this attitude toward pushy people ourselves is one of the reasons we find it very hard to be the instigators when hooking up with other couples.

[were4fun2003]

With us being fairly new in this lifestyle.we have the same problem ...but not with just new couples also couples we have met & had fun times with before .Usually when we meet a couple again its either at the club ,hangin out or playin cards and never sure what they want to do so we usually wait for them to make the first move ..We know this isnt really fair to them just never sure whats appropiate dont want to just assume anything....SO HELP!!!!!!!!!!!

[Greg & Sheryl]

Originally Posted by couplentulsa

The times your just hanging out in the living room talking. I always find it hard to make the first move in case I seem too pushy to someone.

We frequently host other coupes at our home, so we are pretty experienced in this situation. We understand how awkward it might seem to suddenly suggest having sex while you’re in the middle of a conversation. Your best bet is to wait for that brief pause that usually happens when you switch topics in an extended conversation. Before the new topic can begin, simply say, “So, shall we retire to the bedroom?” That usually works very well, especially if you’ve been chatting for more than 45 minutes. You shouldn’t worry about putting people “on the spot,” because they came over to your place to have sex in the first place, right?

[funwthusok]

wow. this is a huge problem and no body, including myself, has a definate answer...
i think it all comes down to the open line of communication, that we all should have, if we started down this road in the first place.
i think little things like sitting close to your "friends" instead of next to your own partner when on the sofa, aids in bringing the closeness into the situation. From there.. a good massage from a friend is always good... while the others continue talking.. and eventually come forth.. it seems more natural and less orchistrated...make sense?
and you know what breaks the ice very welll, good old fashion, honest compliments.... its all in the approach....but this is just from a girls point of view... the mr. says, just suck it up and go for it... how romantic...

[stoutgatte]

I wonder if we don't miss something here. We all managed to get hooked up to a partner at some stage. We all at some stage managed to kiss girls/guys by giving and following the right signals, the rest is easy...

So what I'm thinking, why are we so wary of being pushy? This certainly is the reason this is such a common problem. Although we know the limits, and would not step over them, we still hang back when a move of some sort would be appreciated, and is often wanted... I am just as guilty of this, but I have made the choice to re-learn that skill, I am struggling, but I'll get there...

[NWARcouple]

We've encountered the same thing....

We usually end up talking and talking and talking until we realize how late it is!

Since most of our experiences have been with the same couple, we all know that we'll end up talking for hours if someone doesn't take charge. It's really nice to know a couple that we get along with so well, but at first it was a little awkward getting things started.

Now it seems like all we need is a suggestion to get naked...

Of course, things are a little different with new acquaintances. We're still unsure of how to get things started if everyone seems interested. Talking about fantasies, or things we would like to try seems like a move in the right direction.

[JustAskJulie]

That was always one of the hardest things for me as well. The sitting around the living room... now what? ... feeling. If you are all there with the purpose that something is going to happen then someone has to take the lead. If you invite folks back to your place then have a plan....

Have a game ready...
Grab the other female and head off to your room, returning with some toys... or return changed into sexy negligees... that will get things moving.
When you sit down in the living room to chat, always make sure that you are sitting next to the person from the other couple... don't sit cpl vs. cpl.... sit Wife 1 with Husband 2 and vice versa.

[ALilOEverything]

What has always lead one thing into another with vanilla friends and has worked for us is putting in some background music with a beat. In no time I'll be wiggling to the beat...then usually I take my drink and start dancing in the living room...then grab the others guys hand and make him dance with me...or my dancing on him. It usually doesn't take much after that for us.

[wildtwo4uinva]

Breaking the ice...that is a hard one........usually if things are kinda stagnated with us,we just slowly start making out.....lol....they usually get the message and do the same..this leads to the main event usually........and it's not pushy....has worked well for us..... ......D&S

[PAyoungCPL]

For one couple that the female was bi curious we used a set of dice and let the ladies take turns rolling while we just sat back and enjoyed the view. Thier was two dice one had a location on the body and one had an action like lick, suck, massage,etc. They had a great time and so did we watching. One thing led to anouther and befor we knew it the sun was comming up and everyone was looking for the clothes they came with.

[indy2some]

Wow is this a universal problem. No wonder most swinging takes place in the wee hours. Our approach is simple. If they are a couple we both like, I'll discreetly tell the male half that "we'd love to play with them". My spouse will do the same with theirs. Then we'll let them have some time to themselves to discuss their interest.

[blandomonium]

Play a drinking sex game called quarters. It's hilarious, fun and filled with fantasy fulfilment:

On a 5 pieces of paper each participant secretly writes 5 things they want the another person to do to or with them. Be specific (strip for me, eat me until I cum, do me in the ass, watch me masturbate, I want both men for a DP, etc...)

Then, fold the papers and put in a bowl for random drawing. Establish who is a possible sex partner.

Everyone gets a quarter, you put a glass in the sink. Draw for turns and establish an order. With each quarter toss, all can have a swig of a cocktail, if you want to add alcohol to your party. To toss the quarter, you bounce off the counter and try to land it in the glass. Keep rotating turns (and drinking) until some lucky participant gets one in the glass.

They then draw from the papers. If they draw themselves or someone or an incorrect one, then keep drawing.

What a nice surprise when you have to do something on the paper with someone else. Limit each activity somewhat, or else no one else will get a turn!!!!!!!! The anticipation and surprise will get your heart pumping.

After a few draws, you'll end up with an orgy or a great time.