Breaking the ice?

[redevils8]

Here is our personal situation...if someone has some advice please reply. We are hitting it off with another couple we have known for quite some time. Recently, my wife and the other husband have been hanging all over each other at the bar. I am fine with it. They each have an obvious attraction. My dilemma is that I don't know if the same attraction exists with me and the other wife. She is hot, but when I go to kiss her, she kind of "turns the cheek." I think I should talk to my buddy, the other husband, and bring things out in the open. My wife and I think they are hot and would be comfortable with going to the next level. Should I talk man to man with the other husband and bring things out? Or just invite them over into the hot tub and just let things happen with no previous planning for play?

[Alura]

Welcome from Oklahoma, Redevils8! Please stop by the Introductions forum and tell us who you are.

I would simply say to the lady, "You turn your cheek when I start to kiss you. Would you rather not be doing this?"

Communication and honesty are the keys to successful swinging.

Mr. Alura

[us2maybe]

You know

WE had the SAME experience this weekend. We went out for dinner and drinks with a couple we talked with online. TONS of things in common, same age, the whole nine - but once we got back to our place it was as if no one really knew what we were all there for. True it was the first time we ever met them so maybe it was more of a "get to know you" thing - but perhaps next time we'd be best to start the evening off on a naughty note so much as expect it to end on one. I'm thinking maybe a strip club and then once we get home truth or dare, round of "drink you under the table" strip poker, etc.

It was just so weird and awkard. And what really makes this whole thing strange is we find it EASIER to initiate when at an adult club, so maybe we should start the night of there instead?

[Annamal]

I know this might sound dumb, but a good old fashioned game of "Spin the Bottle" or sometimes "Truth Or Dare" works!
Once things get rolling, we sometimes progress to that game I forogt what it is called- the one where you go in the closet for a certain amount of time with a partner. the other couple stays in the living room and is supposed to call out when "time's up" It is fun

[Katie_and_Mark]

Well, I have the sense of humor between us two so I usually try to start things. The first time we were with one couple, we told them we would bring the drinks and the ice. When they opened the door we tossed the bag of ice on the floor and said, "OK now the ice is broken." Sounds cheesy but it seemed to work. Then when he asked me if I wanted a refill on my drink after we had talked for a little bit I said yes. When he came to get my glass, I kept bringing it closer to me and then gave him the first kiss. He seemed to like this alot. Now when I was in a situation where I wasn't sure the man was attracted to me, we sat by each other and he slowly started rubbing my back and my arm. Then I knew it was fine. Sitting by each others spouses is always a good idea. It makes it easier to get things going.

[Alura]

Katie and Mark wisely wrote:

Sitting by each others spouses is always a good idea. It makes it easier to get things going.

It is customary in America, when two couples go out for dinner or drinks, for the husbands to sit next to each other and wives to do the same. This results in opposite spouses, the people who need to be touched, to be sitting directly across the table from each other. It adds to the tension and makes "breaking the ice" even harder.

So, when you go out to dinner with another couple, seat the men directly across the table from each other and the wives likewise. If the table has side-by-side seating, sit next to the other spouse. Do not sit on the same side of the table with your spouse.

During conversation, occasionally touching the opposite spouse's hand will make future touching easier. It's difficult to make the jump from being out of reach across the table to a kiss.

Single people have a definite "body language" progression leading up to that first kiss. A light touch of the hand is followed by hand-holding, followed by hand-holding with fingers interlaced, followed by an arm around the waist, followed by the kiss. If one leaves out any of these steps, he or she is deemed to be "going too fast."

We've also found a good ice-breaker is to switch spouses for the drive from the restaurant to the appropriate home, so "nobody gets lost." Watching Mrs. Alura and the other husband kissing at the stop light ahead of us has never failed to start the kissing for me and the other wife. Still, don't even think about starting the kissing without interlinking the fingers first!

Mr. Alura

[growgirl]

Originally Posted by Alura

We've also found a good ice-breaker is to switch spouses for the drive from the restaurant to the appropriate home, so "nobody gets lost." Watching Mrs. Alura and the other husband kissing at the stop light ahead of us has never failed to start the kissing for me and the other wife.

Mr. Alura

Dang, I'm just getting all kinds of good ideas for our "formerly known as a house party, now just a date" evening. Not that we need an icebreaker with our dates this evening, fortunately. We're meeting them at the adult toy store to do some shopping together (that list is getting longer and longer) and swapping for the ride home sounds like a lot of fun. You guys are the best, I tell ya!

growgirl

[Ozarkplayer]

we use the hot tub every one we meet with know that the tub is nude only. The reason for this if asked is that the clothing is to hard on the pump. Something about being naked in a spa just sets the mood. Then as others have stated we play spin the bottle, usually moving to truth or dare, mostly dare. This gets everyone going and the night usually ends up great.

[Pepper & Drew]

Same here. We have a hot tub and it never fails to get things going. There's also games that you can get at Spencer's or some of the adult stores that will definitely ease you into a good night.

Pepper

[Alura]

Growgirl wrote:

...swapping for the ride home sounds like a lot of fun. You guys are the best, I tell ya!

Thanks, Growgirl! Did I mention that I just love them cowgirls?

Mr. Alura

[EUcpl]

Best icebreaker, that is our experience miniskirts not allowed to show in the public, dancing with the other partners, candlelight and condoms on the table.

[NJDixieDarlin]

This game has always worked well with us, plu there r many more games listed- www.barmeister.com/cgi-bin/game.view.pl?game=362

[h2o]

Thanks NJDixieDarlin for the link to some games. I think they are great and gonna try one out next weekend.
~As Always,
H2O
( . Y . )

[luvinit]

Our first time we played with our friends we started playing a card game with the losers taking off an item of clothing, then it got really interesting when we girls decided to distract the boys it didnt take long before we were all in the bed! The next time we played it was really late when we got started and morning before we finished. We decided right then that the next time we would get to the faster.

[bear_n_bunny]

When Bear and I first started hosting gatherings, I found the Sexplorations game a great ice breaker. (They just came out with a new interactive DVD that sounds like a blast.) With just another couple, if you are sure you want to play, don't sit next to your spouse. Now that we have a hot tub, that usually gets things going. No clothes in ours either. With some couples I just get up and say "Can we please have sex now?" That usually gets something going. -- Bunny