How do you get like-minded people together for a party?

[JanRan]

Hello, my hubby and I realize that everyone has their own opinion on what swinging is. So in regards to this situation, how would one get "like minded" people together for a party/Meet and greet type thing? I would rather try to get people who have similar desires together than to go to a party and say "boy that was a bummer party dude". What would be some good swinger party ideas? I've only been to 2 and they were both lame. I'm in the NVA/DC/MD area. Thanks,
JanRan

[MiCpl]

I don't think there is really anyway to guarantee that everyone leaving your party will have had a good time. I think some people try to hard to be sure that everyone there is similiar and forgets that not everyone is looking for the same thing. I've run into one couple that holds house parties and they screen every couple to make sure they fit their "mold" (aka must be attractive, etc). What they forget when they do this is that attractive is a relative term, and what I'm attracted to may not be what they are attracted to.

After saying that one thing I would suggest is that you make sure most of the people you invite are into the same types of activities, referring to full or soft swingers, etc. You don't want people showing up with the wrong expectations. If most of the people that you are inviting are hardcore full swap swingers, you don't want to invite a couple that is only into softswing or a couple that is brand new to the lifestyle because it might be a little overwhelming for them and they may end up feeling like they are being pushed into more than they are ready for.

Once you get everyone there, I would suggest planning a few ice breaker games to get things started or just let the party atmosphere take it's own course, and see how things go. I read some great party games in Patty Thomas' book on the lifestyle. I can't remember the name of it, but it's a really great book. She's the editor of ConnectionMag http://www.connectionmag.com .

[JustAskJulie]

I'm not sure if you by similiar interests and desires you are referring solely to their swinging interests or not. But one thing to remember is that everyone is different and that whatever your "niche" might be, there is probably going to be at least one other person there that shares it.

If you want to make sure that everyone there is actually into swinging, rather than the possibility of dealing with first timers or couples who don't agree on what they want to happen, I'd suggest you meet with each couple ahead of time and talk to them couple to couple and find out what they are looking for and why they are in the lifestyle. This really is a good thing to do anyway just to avoid potential problems in the future. Often couples will decide to try swinging for the wrong reasons (thinking it will help a failing marriage, etc), and these are reasons that you probably don't want to deal with at your parties. By talking to each couple ahead of time and getting a good idea of where they are coming from it will really help you to know what to expect and plan for at your parties as well as what to let your guests know what to expect.

Good Luck,

Julie