I suppose mine is a rather unique perspective on the topic.
Hubby and I are in the same room only group. It was the only way he could conceive of the activity, and was the only way I would consider it.
Ex-hubby and I rarely did same room in our eight years together in the lifestyle, despite the fact he utilized the "we'll always be together" and "this is something we will be doing together" urgings to encourage my agreement Now, when I say "rarely" I am not including the occasions we were involved in threesome activity. Those times, by definition, we were in the same room/same bed.
And once, at a house party when I was "broken" - he was having some performance difficulty and sent his partner to find me so I could assist. Once I had them [him] back up and running I slipped out of the room, closing the door behind me. I actually had hopes that situation might remind him of his initial presentation of "we'll always be together" by illustrating just one of the advantages of it. But that would have required some agreement about partners/attraction etc - and that's another story.
Never the less, I
have experienced separate room activity and for me, I only see one advantage. It's a rather large advantage, true. It provides for pace and timing to be just that of the two involved - with pauses where appropriate or needed without it affecting anyone else. Conversation, giggling - more room on the bed to reposition. You get the idea.
I have learned that the same sort of "connection" can occur with a play partner in a same room, same bed set up. [OK, maybe not so much the conversation and giggling part] But for us, it's the best of both worlds. The sexual activity with a partner other than our marriage partner but still a shared activity with each other is what takes us to the pinnacle.
I do recognize it can be difficult enough for two couples to pace their movement and activity to match and/or accommodate one another that it has the potential to impact the quality of what is transpiring one to one. Some feel that it adds a huge and additional dimension to performance pressure for all concerned. It takes the right partners, and the right relationship between all four - beyond and above that which each set of two.
The accomplishment of the goal is the reason we are not quick to move to the activity level with new partners - we know what the payoff can be when things are done with the goal in mind.
I do believe too that same room is a good option for those who may have more frequent encounters with those they may not have done a "slow build" with since it still accommodates the primary relationship. Not to say it is the only way to go - or even necessarily the best way. Just that it is the best way
for us - and the only way we play.
WR
