Nufutz, there are several very good reasons why women especially are sometimes conflicted about swinging and reluctant to give it a
have on their marriage. But we've learned that many women simply have
awful self images. We know a beautiful, sexy woman who told us she really thought she was just "unfuckable" and nobody would want to be with her. She will be 50 years old at the end of this month, and is now trying hard to reach "50 by 50!"
Mrs. Pairbond is a pretty lady with delicious curves and beautiful skin and looks incredible naked. But she constantly bemoans the fact that she's only 5'3" tall and curvaceous instead of one of those tall, willowy types.
One of my all-time favorite cartoons showed a husband and wife naked in front of the bathroom mirror. The woman is a "10" in every sense, and the hubby is a bald, beer-bellied slob. In the mirror, she sees an ugly old hag, and he sees Tarzan!
There is
so much truth in that! Most men think they are studly and most women are keenly aware of what they are NOT instead of appreciating what they ARE.
Poor body image is also one of the reasons why lots of women don't want to go to one of those parties where everybody's clothes come off at a certain time, and would rather not get naked until just before they slide into bed.
We have seen lots of women past 40 years old who have raised children, have stretch marks, some with scars from C-sections, whose breasts aren't as high and firm as they once were, and who can "pinch an inch" or just have soft abs. You know what? They really get their eyes opened when they finally get up the nerve to swing, and especially when they go to their first swing party and find out MOST men think they are so hot and want them. What a turn-on it is to these women to discover that they are still attractive and sexy! Wives tend to dismiss their husbands' compliments about their looks because "He's
SUPPOSED to say that." But when they start swinging or attend their first party, they are forced to admit that they really ARE still beautiful, attractive, and sexy to most men. And they often get a tremendous self-esteem boost out of it which affects their whole life. That's one reason why even women who were "coaxed" into trying swinging by their husbands often end up loving it even more than their husbands do! What a wonderful thing to feel GOOD about yourself, especially after years of being conditioned by Madison Avenue advertising that if you're past 16 you're "over the hill."
So be patient and understanding, and like you were already advised, don't push. If she is really interested, it may take her some time to get up the courage. And if she just doesn't want to, that is also her right to determine that swinging just isn't for her. - - pairbond