Nufutz-
I believe your confusion is a quite normal result that many fellas experience with their wives [and on occasion, vice-versa].
The problem comes about when one fails to realize the comfort level of something being a "fantasy". The ability to let loose and engage in the pillow talk of "IF" while having sex does NOT indicate a desire to bring the fantasy to reality. It can be simply a portion of the stimuli in the mind that enables one to experience mind blowing orgasms.
Often, the partner viewing how his mate is transported by such fantasy play - thinks it is a natural progression to desire bringing it into reality. But once you have indicated your willingness to go to that step, and been rebuffed for the suggestion, it should be dropped.
The danger in continuing to urge the reality is that your partner may quit voicing the fantasies to you, fearful you will than push her where she has no desire to go. So my suggestion is to drop the topic. You have conveyed your thoughts, and planted a seed in her mind. If she changes her mind, she will let you know. But only if you back off, and allow her freedom of expression to continue will she do so.
Keeping the doors of communication open is necessary to maintain the excellent fantasies you now share - and crucial if you are ever destined to move beyond that.
WR
