[TNT]

Ted said that I should respond to this thread, although I am not sure why or what I can offer but I will try.

I don’t recall having much, if any, guilt about entering the “Swinging Lifestyle” in concerns of religion. Even though I did grow up in a somewhat religious family we were not forced to attend Sunday school/church if we did not want to go. My parents did not attend church and even though my grandparents were extremely religious they never really forced the issue with my parents about my sister and I attending. If we wanted to go we went with our grandparents, were allowed to discuss what we learned with our parents and were told by them to make our own minds up as to what we believed and didn’t believe. Even my grandparents were very good about telling us in discussions with them about religion that we really needed to make our own minds up. So religion has never played much of a part in any decision I had to make. Even as a teenager and attending church with Ted...his grandfather was a Southern Baptist preacher and he was made to go to church on Sunday, Sunday night and Wednesday night and if I wanted to spend time with him on those days, it was off to church...I found that it was mostly filled with hypocrites...those who professed to be “good Christian folks” would talk about and judge others because they were not just like them...sorry, can’t agree with that as I believe that if there is a God then he loves everyone, not just those who think and act the way the “Church” says they should. Anyway, enough about my background and thoughts on religion.

I do remember having guilt feelings where my marriage vows were concerned. We were taught honor growing up and that a promise made was one that you should always keep. So this was my biggest obstacle to over come. Ted, being the wise man that he is, when I looked at him and said that I didn’t want to cheat on him in any way, shape or form just looked at me and said how will you be cheating on me if I’m there with you? Okay, good point. Now wrapping my mind around that thought.

Actually this was probably easier for me than most. Who did I make this promise to? Duhhh...Ted, and he was telling me that I would not be breaking this promise so no breach of honor there. What it all basically boiled down to was this was mine and Ted’s marriage...not my parent’s, not the community’s, not the church’s, but mine and his so therefore we got to make the rules. We were the ones that this decision would ultimately affect, NOT anyone else. It’s true that if other’s found out about what we did it would change the way they looked at us but it really was none of their business and was not their life but ours. So we made the decision together, made our rules together and will face any and all consequences together, just like we have done with every other thing in our marriage.

As far as sex being bad...Sorry that you were taught that. Sex is NOT bad as long as it is consensual.

The one thing you should always remember is that this is about you and your wife...first, last and in between. As long as you two are in agreement what anyone else thinks really doesn’t matter.

Teresa