HappyEyeball: I totally agree that what others "see" is secondary.
My comments do read alot like a rationalization but this was not my intent per se. I do enjoy the discourse very much and spouse knows that I read the postings in various threads on a daily basis.
My point was that our foundation is so much more than what we grow into or out of as individuals. Previously in this thread I was questioning those with simplistic definitions. I don't want to be guilty of this so I will explain a little better. I think of a structure as the viewable area of a building. It has a foundation that is not so visible. The structure can be torn apart and rebuilt on the old foundation if that foundation were correctly designed and built.
Couples that don't build their foundations strong (even when no one may ever see it) they will have problems rebuilding if they ever get hit by a storm that does some damage.
My problem with so much of what I am learning here on the board is that I feel topics here on this board are very germane to building a foundation and that many "mainstream" couples would benefit even if they did not show interest in the swing aspect. It is though there is alot of wisdom that is wasted. Sex is for fun to swingers but the balance of input is centered around compassion and wanting to help. Just my thoughts. Thanks, Flassh
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