I used the word 'potential'.... as Buck says, he has no intention of going further than talking and he would never do anything to hurt his wife. That's his call.
Just like I decide what my husband needs or may need to know if it may have any later effect on him and/or our relationship. That's my call.
Yes...we make decisions regarding our spouses best interests and what information or activities we have that they may need to know.
If keeping the secret involves violating an agreement with the absent spouse, such as she doesn't want him participating on a swingers message board, and he is, then that's cheating I think.
I would be truly hurt if my husband were conversing on a message board and I wasn't aware of it. That would be a 'secret' between us and that will stymie our relationship. He would always know that he's doing something I know nothing about. That would preclude any goal of total honesty and openness, and for us...that's very important. For Buck and others, they seem to have bottom lines and goals that are different from ours.
Everyone makes their own choices for their own reasons, and I don't believe I am one to condemn or condone...it's not my life. As a topic tho, yes.... I have an opinion.
