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Originally posted by Alura
If, on the other hand, she were meeting someone for tea, with no sex involved at all, but the possibility of a relationship might come up, I'd be devastated.
Alura |
You know...leave it to you two to come real close to the whole thing I've been driving at. I think I'll just move to Tulsa. I need to be around some of this sage wisdom.
OK...I'll explain my thoughts on this just a little bit. I got interested the other day stemming from what yawanna said in another thread. In the meantime, I'm not married and haven't been for many years (half my life?). Therefore, I haven't had the opportunity to develop the type of relationship that many couples have developed - one based on trust, honesty...those sorts of things. And since I haven't had that opportunity, I don't always understand things the way others might.
Frankly, when someone says they share
EVERYTHING with their spouse, I have difficulty with that concept. Is it me because I am a rather private person in some respects? Or is it because I've never been involved in such a long-term relationship? I don't know, tho' I tend to believe it is more a "me" thing.
The other thing I wonder...when people say, as yawanna did
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It means we share with the other anything that person might need to know about, either now or later.
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I can't help but wonder...well, you are deciding what that person needs to know. Not the person. What I might think my spouse needs to know might be quite different than what he thinks he needs to know. I can't quite reconcile that just now.
But another thing I want to add separate and apart from cheating - in a way...the comment was made by Buck in response to some of the posts that he and others might be "cheating" just by their presence here without their spouses knowledge. Same and similar...for me, I've learned a lot about marriage here...what it takes, what it requires, how to problem solve certain issues. Apply that same thing to a spouse that hangs out here and takes that knowledge home to continue a happy non-swinging relationship. What is so bad about that? How can you say it is cheating when in fact their presence and participation on this board may have strengthened the relationship?
- EBF
