I think guys (in general) have a natural tendency to act and think like "egomaniacs" who have a right to do as they please. This tendency must be kept in check if we are to avoid being seen as Jerks by our spouces and others. This is probably the SIMPLE truth in your situation:
1. Your husband enjoys, or thinks he might enjoy kissing other females during sex. He therefore is reluctant to give this up for the same reason that when my wife asks me to avoid fast food (and posting personal information on message boards) that my reply is "I'll try".
2. Many men hate being "told what to do" or criticised. When my wife and I worked at the same medical billing service she would sometimes observe while driving into work "you've got shaving cream in your ears". Well, this made me mad and I would usually reply "either tell me before we leave home or leave me alone". She stopped telling me, and one day an important potential client observed "I can't buy something from someone with shaving cream in their ears".
Most men will only make changes when it is obvious that failing to do so will cost them something very important. Unfortunately (for men) women often consider changes made at THAT point to be insufficient (because with women attitude and motivation often matters as much or more than outcomes). Thus, if a man "gets what he wants" it doesn't matter to him that he had to pester, or otherwise "harrass" you to agree. However, if a WOMAN is put in the position of having to do this, she usually won't be satisfied that the she "won" because she feels she shouldn't have had to go that far. Bottom line: Most men are self absorbed selfish pigs that respond only to obvious, threatened pain (which can take many forms). |