The Swingers Board - View Single Post - Husband says he'll TRY not to kiss other women

Tarnished Halo · 04-19-2004, 02:11 PM

Hubby and I had a disagreement and I would like the opinion on the board whether I am being unreasonable. I expressed to him that I would be uncomfortable for him to kiss the other female. He told me that he would "try".

uh oh. For me this is a big RED FLAG, and one of the reasons I am so very hesitant to be involved in swinging. Note, we are simply at the discussion stage, and I currently am seeing a therapist while resolving some "issues" about swinging, me and our relationship.

My stance is that the statement "I'll try" wasn't good enough. I wanted him to agree that for my comfort zone that he would agree NOT to go somewhere that I wasn't ready to go. I also stated that IF the other woman, or her husband (or bf) told him DON'T KISS HER (me), that he wouldn't do it. Simple, and no questions asked.

If I am being unreasonable about going into this with some limitations of what I am comfortable, or uncomfortable about, then please let me know. I realize that this is perhaps "airing our dirty laundry", however, it seems that if we are not on the same page with what WE (after all....doesn't want I want or not want ALSO count?) then another couple is not going to take the chance with us, which is the whole point of swinging.

GADS. I am a big enough person to be told that I am wrong, and if I am, someone tell me. I am not standing on my high horse, dicating what we will or will not do (if that were the case, I am not sure that I would be even REMOTELY involved in trying to figure this all out)! zI AM saying that this would be easier for me if we could have some agreement about our activities.
Thanks for your response.
Tarnished
(if we ever get through all the issues, I'll be signing on as Rusted Halo. gheesh.)

04-19-2004, 02:11 PM	#1 (permalink)
Tarnished Halo Here to Stay Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 75 Location: Ohio Status: Couple/M. Female	Husband says he'll TRY not to kiss other women Hubby and I had a disagreement and I would like the opinion on the board whether I am being unreasonable. I expressed to him that I would be uncomfortable for him to kiss the other female. He told me that he would "try". uh oh. For me this is a big RED FLAG, and one of the reasons I am so very hesitant to be involved in swinging. Note, we are simply at the discussion stage, and I currently am seeing a therapist while resolving some "issues" about swinging, me and our relationship. My stance is that the statement "I'll try" wasn't good enough. I wanted him to agree that for my comfort zone that he would agree NOT to go somewhere that I wasn't ready to go. I also stated that IF the other woman, or her husband (or bf) told him DON'T KISS HER (me), that he wouldn't do it. Simple, and no questions asked. If I am being unreasonable about going into this with some limitations of what I am comfortable, or uncomfortable about, then please let me know. I realize that this is perhaps "airing our dirty laundry", however, it seems that if we are not on the same page with what WE (after all....doesn't want I want or not want ALSO count?) then another couple is not going to take the chance with us, which is the whole point of swinging. GADS. I am a big enough person to be told that I am wrong, and if I am, someone tell me. I am not standing on my high horse, dicating what we will or will not do (if that were the case, I am not sure that I would be even REMOTELY involved in trying to figure this all out)! zI AM saying that this would be easier for me if we could have some agreement about our activities. Thanks for your response. Tarnished (if we ever get through all the issues, I'll be signing on as Rusted Halo. gheesh.)