And Welcome to the board! Glad you found your way here, and that you have been reading the storehouse of information available here. Best of all - so glad you have come out from "lurk mode" to make your first post. And if you've been reading for a while, you already know we love to have our opinions asked for!
As far as your question goes about whether you're too straight to be successful as swingers - your reading [hopefully] has also taught you there's a wide range of activity level that folks feel comfortable including when interacting with others. So there are no hard and fast rules about anything. You set your own.
Anal, despite it's inclusion in darned near every porn flick out there - is not something all swingers participate in. And of those who do, a good many only do so on a very occasional basis with their significant other only. [or at least that is my impression from what I have read here]
Now - oral, well, that's a different answer entirely, I believe. Still, I have some questions for you. You say the "she" half doesn't like oral.
Are you referring to 'giving' or 'receiving'? To and/or from males? Females? Both?
I don't mean to infer that any particular response to the above questions is necessarily a "deal breaker" in the making for you - simply that the answer to the above questions may make it easier for us to respond to you in a manner more significant to your question.
Thanks!
WR
