[vanilla]

Hi, everyone. We've been reading this wonderful site for some time now before getting up the nerve to post. We hope you can offer us as valuable advice as we've so often seen you give to others.

We are on the verge of swinging, ready to attend a club or post an ad. We've talked it through at length, worked out an understanding, and feel very confident about our decision to move forward.

However, we're worried that we're just too straight and that no one will have us. Specifically, the "she" half of us, is pretty wild in bed and has done some pretty crazy things, but when you get right down to it, has some pretty basic limits. She doesn't like anal or oral.

Does this rule us out as swingers? Or are there folks who will still have us?

We've had sex in public numerous times, been to strip clubs, had other guys join us, you name it. But while she's multi-orgasmic, enjoys toys and masturbation, crowd scenes, etc., she simply doesn't enjoy anal (may be some lingering childhood issues there, but we're not sure) or anal (she's a tiny thing, and each time we tried it, preparations and plenty of lube aside, she was in agony for days afterwards each time and didn't get enough pleasure out of it to make it worth the pain). It's as simple as that.

So, we're wondering, are there other couples who will respect these boundaries and have us anyway? Or are we pricing ourselves out of the market, as it were? We hope you can be gentle but direct with us, and give us your honest opinions. We're completely sincere and hopeful that there's still hope for us.

We really do want to swing. We're attractive and fun to be around (so we're told), have been together for roughly 20 years, are very secure, love sex, and have all the right motivations, based on what we've read here. And he's open to basically anything. But we worry that any potential couples we'd partner with won't have us if we discuss bring up these two very basic boundaries.

We're anxious to hear what you have to say. Thanks in advance.