this is mike...the male half.
there's a couple of things that would concern me. while its a good thing that your boyfriend seems to so concerned about your feelings, from what you've said it still sounds like he's hoping that you're going to warm up to the idea of swinging. When you said "MAJOR fantasizing" in bed, does that mean every time you have sex? if so, i'd say that its a pretty sure sign that this is something he wants to happen for real and not just a fun fantasy. fantasy is great and can make sex more exciting sometimes, but if he can't just enjoy the two of you together, then i'd say you have some things to work out with him.
as far as this other couple goes, in my opinion they're completely rude. if i were in your shoes, i'd cut them out of my life completely and ask your boyfriend to do the same. you're his first priority (or should be), and anyone who's that disrespectful of your feelings shouldn't be a part of either of your lives.
i think you need to make it clear to your boyfriend that you absolutely do NOT want to be involved in swinging, now or EVER... and that he needs to lighten up on the fantasy stuff when the two of you are having sex, if not cut it out completely for a while.
and at the very least, he needs to talk to this other couple and tell them that neither one of you are interested in having sex with them, now or ever...and that he sees the way they are acting as disrespectful to you and will not tolerate it.
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