Where is your boyfriend's ex-wife now? Is she still friends with the other couple? Did the swinging have anything to do with the divorce?
The way I understand your post is this: Your boyfriend had a threesome four times without his ex-wife's knowledge and a foursome twice with his ex-wife involved.
If this is correct, his background does not bode well of his trustworthiness. Of course, that doesn't mean he will do the same with you. You must address this issue with him and find out for sure.
The other couple, particularly the wife, seems not to have given up on the concept of play with him. Since y'all are not yet married, and she knew him before he knew you, perhaps she sees you as an intruder. It seems apparent to me that your boyfriend hasn't yet talked with the other couple about your feelings about intermarital sex and they particularly, fully expect (or at least hope for) the relationship to continue as before.
First, you two need to talk about this issue and then he, or the two of you together, need to talk with them, explaining your feelings and your agreement for him to put swinging behind him.
Personally, I love Mrs. Alura more than life itself, and would certainly give up playing if she told me she wanted to quit. I doubt, though, that I'd ever forget, or quit yearning for, the fun we've had together with other couples.
Maybe y'all can work past this "incompatibility" and perhaps not. If you can, fantastic! If not, a split now might avoid a lot more heartaches in the future.
Mr. Alura
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