One of the details I did not discern from your account was the length of time you've been in this relationship. I got the impression that this is still a relatively new connection. If that notion is in error, then I apologise, but it occurs to me that a good deal of your insecurity might well stem from the fact that things between you and your boyfriend are still rather fresh.
To my mind, this whole question revolves around the issue of trust. You're effectively asking us if you can trust your boyfriend's assertions, that he is done with the lifestyle, that he is sexually done with this other couple, that he values the relationship with you more than he does his former activities. Unfortunately, there's no way to give you an answer with any real certainty. Personally, I'm unable to recount tales of friends who've left the lifestyle without a second glance, or of those who tried to leave, but were sucked back in time and again. There are others here who might be able to offer such information.
What I can say is that – from what you've told us – it seems that your boyfriend has been open and honest with you. He's told you about his experiences with his ex-wife, and with this other couple. At the party, he responded to your discomfort by distancing himself from this woman. He's been honest enough to share his fantasies with you, and he's been honest enough to talk you about the possibility of you taking part in the lifestyle together. He's also told you that he's prepared to put all of that in the past because you're more important to him, and he's even offered to stay away from people who have been his friends for a long time, rather than risk losing you.
So there are two issues for you to deal with. The first is whether or not **you** can believe him when he says that his swinging days are over. Aside from emasculating himself, he can only give you his word. Can you accept his word? If you can't, then your relationship is over before it's begun. Without trust, what's the point?
The second is this couple. The problem is not that he had sex with his friends. It's that you can't deal with it. Would you be the same if chance brought an old girlfriend across his path? He cannot apologise to you for every single relationship he had before he met you. The fact that this couple might still be pursuing him (and you) as sexual playmates is another matter. That can be addressed by his offer to tell them to "back off" if they make another move. There's no reason (beyond your discomfort with the past) that you can't all be friends. And if they fail to respect his request, then he will have to decide whether he wants to continue to have them in his life at the risk of upsetting you. Just because they share a mutual circle of friends with your boyfriend, doesn't mean they can't be avoided.
The ball is in *your* court. By all means, express your concerns to your boyfriend, make your position clear (though, again from what you've told us, it appears that you've already done that). But until he gives you solid reason to doubt his sincerity, I think you should stop worrying, and get on with enjoying your life with your boyfriend.
Good luck.
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