Hello, I know others will have more pertinent advice for you, but I must add mine, having been there. I didn't speak up about some of the concerns, fears and questions that I had while my husband was verbalizing some of his wants desires and fantacies. For whatever reasons, I remained either silent or would unsuccessfully make some sort of feeble protest, hoping that it was just bedroom talk.
You absolutely MUST talk to him so he understands where you are. It may help you to clarify what you are thinking and feeling so that you can as a couple can resolve some of the things so that they don't become major issues, or damage your relationship. Clearly, he is expressing his concern for your welfare, which must be reassuring to you, but obviously, there are some doubts that you have. Writing these things down may help you get to the core of some of your concerns
As from a woman's point of view, if you are uncomfortable with the other woman, I would say trust your gut. It is seldom wrong.
I have discovered through counseling, that my thinking is kind of like a marble in a round pan. When I percieved that my husband was leading us (me) down a road that I didn't want to go, I made sure that my insecurities and fears kept that pan shaking!
Address these things now because if you do not, they will escalate into other issues that have nothing to do with swinging.
Best of all to you.
Tarnished
|