[Monolith]

First of all this is Monoliths wife now... (notice I said wife not his babies momma or his little bedroom slut.)

Originally posted by Botcpl
So young and already the marriage needs "spicing up". Do you see why I am worried about you?

No, WE are not doing this because our marriage needs spicing up, we do this because we can. I started this because I am such a loving person and its not in my nature to simply be with one person.

I'm going to step back now and start reading between the lines. What I am about to say may not be you exactly, but I bet it will be close

oh, this should be interesting... be my guest

You've been married a short time, one or two years. Very unlikely your parents signed off for minors to marry, unless there is a baby involved. So your working your butt off because you don't have an education and can't get a good job.

Wow, you love stereotyping people don’t you? There is no baby, I was told very young that it would be very hard for me to have children. (and its none of your business why.) You're correct about one thing, our parents didn’t sign for us to get married, in fact at first they tried to break us apart because they thought that we were to serious about each other. (obviously their minds were just as closed as yours is) they didn’t seem to understand (neither do you) that we aren’t like other teenagers. Monolith said that he is a man (even though he is 19) because he is more of a man than most people 10 years older than him.

If you are lucky, you have graduated from high school, but that is not enough in todays work environment. Take it from a college drop out, it's tough out there.

let me paint a picture of reality for you... because you seem to have a very very pessimistic view.
Monoliths senior year in school he was taking College Calc and psychology, Challenge English. He had taken Japanese and Cisco for two years. (for those of you who don’t know it is a computer networking class) He was in the national honor society. He graduated in the top 30 out of close to 400 students. Oh and me? I was also in his college psychology class, and when there were tests it was either him or me that had the highest score in all the psyc classes. I might not have taken all the honors home but I am not ignorant either. Not only did we graduate from high school... we did it living on our own, together and without the financial or any other kind or support from our families.

So your wife stays home watching the baby because she doesn't have an education and you can't afford childcare. She's seventeen or eighteen and board taking care of the baby and guys are a welcomed diversion. The sad truth is when a woman is in heat, there are plenty of dogs around! I work in the inner city and a phrase we use a lot is, "...babies having babies..."

hmm... you really have some nerve talking about me like I am some kind of animal in heat, some nerve presuming to know anything about us at all really.. let alone trying to describe our lifestyle. As I mentioned before there is no baby, and even if was one I would have absolutely no problem at all with staying at home and taking care of it. I know its kind of cheesy but ever since I was a little girl my dream wasn’t to go to college and make lots of money... It was to have the average middle class family, pretty traditional in the sense that I would take care of the children and he would go to work. You seem to think that money is the most important thing to people... in reality we are nothing like that... money and success are meaningless to us. The guys are not a diversion, they are not a hobby or a side project... and I am in no way bored or unhappy with my life. Wow... you work in the inner city! *feigns an awestruck look* big deal buddy I've lived in the inner city almost all my life...

but I am not wrong about the education.

yea, you really hit the nail on the head with everything you've said so far.

You have your whole lives to spice up your marriage, but if you guys continue this way, there will be no marriage in a few years and that will be bad for the child.

oh yea.. the nonexistent one that my life is centered around...

As far as an open marriage? There is much more to an open marriage than sex with others, it is about the personal growth of two individules who happen to be married.

You think that we don’t know this? Monolith is my best friend... my soul mate.. my high school sweet heart. It will work... not only because we are perfect in every single way for each other... and because we have the communication and honesty to make it work... but simply to prove all you nay-sayers wrong.
True love doesn’t wait for a person to be a certain age before it presents its self... true love can over come all obstacles.. and sorry if it seems like romantic silly ideal from a love sick teenager. I’ve seen love work in the most unlikely ways with the most unlikely of people... why? because their emotions are genuine and they don’t give up.

You guys need to take a deep and honest look at yourselves and decide where you want to go. One of you needs to go to school and then the other, but I wouldn't send her first, because she might leave you high and dry. You seem like a nice person, you want to like the person you sleep with, most of us do. But just because you want your marriage to work doesn't mean she cares to. The fact she has a couple of lovers already doesn't look good.

*takes a very deep breath*
out of all the things you have said so far... this paragraph affected me the most... you really might be the most presumptuous person I've ever been in contact with...Monolith and I lost our virginity to each other.. and I have Never in my life ever cheated on him or did anything behind his back. My experiences with other men were simply that, experiences. The fact that you come on a swingers board and denounce a woman for having other lovers, and expect that to be a good judge of character amuses me. I would do anything in my power to make Monolith and my marriage work... the funny thing is that you act as if it is already in trouble.

And it might just be the best thing for you to split while you are still young enough to build your own lives. I don't know anyone who married before twenty-one who is still married. That doesn't mean you can't do it, just that the odds are not in your favor.

Let me ask you an honest question. Why do you think that there are so many divorces now when people in general are waiting till an older age to get married as opposed to when couples got married early in their teens and divorce was almost unheard of?
sure it might have been because of the religion factor.. but I believe its because people in current society give up way too easily.. they don’t take the time to sit and work through things.. they just run off and get a divorce. Back then divorce was more taboo, so they tried harder to make things work.
creating a happy marriage is an art, but with all art... to make something beautiful takes effort.

, but I've seen so many young couples flush their lives down the toilet trying to grow up too fast, I feel compelled to say something.

its fine that you wanted to share your opinion, but I do think that you went about it in one of the worst ways possible.
Monolith and I aren’t trying to grow up too fast...
I simply HAD to grow up fast... I raised my sisters I raised myself.. and I think I did damn well.
soapbox
~luxuria