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frenchie · 03-01-2004, 08:59 AM

Many thanks to all who took the time to post replies and a very big thanks to TNT and BI who seemed to see how I feel during this on again off again attitude from my wife.

About 8 months ago during a argument I actually packed and left, she was crying and holding our marriage paper and weeping that she wanted "this" to mean something, I told her as-matter-of-factly that "why should I have to pay for the ass holes that hurt you?, I've wanted this for along time and I'm going to have, with you or without you" and then I left. Now I did come back a few hours later, I decided that I wasn't being fair, I figured I'd put all my swinging dreams in the back of my mind and leave it there, but every now and then the subject comes up.

To be perfectly honest, this is something I've always wanted to try, (she knows this- as I've told her many times), considering she loves sex, I thought "FINALLY" someone I could share this with.

Is it my fault that she's had a few bad experinces?? Should I continue to pay for the ones who hurt her in the past?? I don't think so, I'm not them, I have no trouble separating sex from love, (not that I want to have sex with another woman) but if it were something my wife wanted to see or have happen ; hell I'm not going to say no.

It's like the MFM we did, she was so excited during the event (or at least she appeared to be) it was the after, after things settled down, she was always in tears, thinkings somehow she violated our vows, I tried to comfort her, I told her that I love her, that nothing, none of my feelings for her had changed. And that was some months ago.

It's like nothing I do works or is good enough for her, when we first got together things were very new & exciting, we used to make love almost every night and send each other greetings and leave each other little love notes in our vehicals, but in every relationship things slow down, we don't make love every night, probably 3 times a week, and with us both working (and the little side projects I do for our home- ex. fixing up our vehicals, build a new desk, re-finish the coffee table, etc.) I don't have as much time as I used to to send her greetings or leave a love note in her car. But all she does is complain how I don't do these things all the time, she doesn't understand that I'm busy doing other things now, other things that also show my love. and like I've told her "there's only so much I can do before you get bord with them". Just because she can still find the time to work, keep house, raise kids, plus leave me notes, greetings etc. that doesn't mean I can. I'm not "Superman"

Guess I've strolled off course.
F.
F.

03-01-2004, 08:59 AM	#29 (permalink)
frenchie Registered Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 7 Location: NJ Status: MC	finally Many thanks to all who took the time to post replies and a very big thanks to TNT and BI who seemed to see how I feel during this on again off again attitude from my wife. About 8 months ago during a argument I actually packed and left, she was crying and holding our marriage paper and weeping that she wanted "this" to mean something, I told her as-matter-of-factly that "why should I have to pay for the ass holes that hurt you?, I've wanted this for along time and I'm going to have, with you or without you" and then I left. Now I did come back a few hours later, I decided that I wasn't being fair, I figured I'd put all my swinging dreams in the back of my mind and leave it there, but every now and then the subject comes up. To be perfectly honest, this is something I've always wanted to try, (she knows this- as I've told her many times), considering she loves sex, I thought "FINALLY" someone I could share this with. Is it my fault that she's had a few bad experinces?? Should I continue to pay for the ones who hurt her in the past?? I don't think so, I'm not them, I have no trouble separating sex from love, (not that I want to have sex with another woman) but if it were something my wife wanted to see or have happen ; hell I'm not going to say no. It's like the MFM we did, she was so excited during the event (or at least she appeared to be) it was the after, after things settled down, she was always in tears, thinkings somehow she violated our vows, I tried to comfort her, I told her that I love her, that nothing, none of my feelings for her had changed. And that was some months ago. It's like nothing I do works or is good enough for her, when we first got together things were very new & exciting, we used to make love almost every night and send each other greetings and leave each other little love notes in our vehicals, but in every relationship things slow down, we don't make love every night, probably 3 times a week, and with us both working (and the little side projects I do for our home- ex. fixing up our vehicals, build a new desk, re-finish the coffee table, etc.) I don't have as much time as I used to to send her greetings or leave a love note in her car. But all she does is complain how I don't do these things all the time, she doesn't understand that I'm busy doing other things now, other things that also show my love. and like I've told her "there's only so much I can do before you get bord with them". Just because she can still find the time to work, keep house, raise kids, plus leave me notes, greetings etc. that doesn't mean I can. I'm not "Superman" Guess I've strolled off course. F. F.