Frenchie, from your postings:
YOUR WIFE:
is wonderful and everything you never knew or deserved in life......Is fun, sexual, passionate, and looking for ways to please you.......Believes sex without love is meaningless......Prides herself for not being free and open sexually.....Has had traumatic past experiences such as rape and an unfaithful husband.......Wants to keep your relationship free from harm.
YOU:
Have been previously divorced.......Have a step-child......have unfulfilled fantasies and desires concerning swinging.....have explained your desires and why's till you're blue in the face.......Nudged your wife into a MMF combo.......pressured her continually to go to a swingers club until she conceded.....Stated that you will take all the help and suggestions you can get.
After nudging your wife, as you expressed, into a MMF combo and then a swingers club your wife said if you continue to do your bidding she would file for divorce. She has since had spells of breaking down into tears.
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You have found the best board to obtain direct ,honest, and to the point responses.
I cannot express myself nearly as well as the members of the board done so, i'll try to best summarize from their postings:
Consider what is in your wife's best interest.....You are being selfish by pushing until your wife breaks......Swinging isn't for everyone.......Take the pressure off her completely.....Leave the idea of swinging as a fantasy......By mentally coercing your wife into a MMF combo and a Swinger club you have robbed her of her very essence, her self esteem.........Don't pressure your wife into a sexual activity, it is a form of RAPE.....You have created a huge problem, named Broken Trusst.......If you can't put your wife first, you shouldn't be married.....Nex time the subject is brought up tell your wife it was a bad idea and then forget about it.......Decide what is most important to you.....You may have already caused unrepairable damage to your marriage.......Seek counseling, couples counseling, and rape counseling......If your wife wants to pursue it in the future consider it a blessing
And yes, it is fair of your wife to go to a party without the intention of doing anything. She was considerate enough to concede going just to please you and see if it were something she would consider. She is your wife and partner and you should only agree under those terms . If you've read the boards there is a Golden Rule that states "NO MEANS NO' .
What are you doing to your family. You have a loving wife and a child to consider. Everyone in the world has unfulfilled desires. Your wife wants a Soul Mate. Love her, Truly, Madly, Deeply |