Hiya and thanks for the many replies,
when we went to the club the first time, she knew I wanted to go and see what happens, sort of check it out, as I've never been to one and neither had she. My wife knowing that I really wanted to go, after some talks, she brought up going and actually made the arangements. I was in awww.
During the 90 minute drive, half way there shje made a statement that I could have whatever I wanted while we were there but then our marriage was dead in the water and that if I chose to do by bidding that just as soon as we got back home she was calling our marriage quits. Packing, leaving and filing for divorce that Monday.
So needless to say if I looked too much at another woman or couple or allowed anything to happen with another person or persons; our life was over. Was it fair of her to take me there with no intentions what so ever of doing anything??
I resloved myself there n then that my life with her was most important and we kept to ourselves. We danced, ate, made love together, enjoyed the hot-tub, etc... but that was it, there was a woman at the bar giving a blow-job to a few guys and I really wanted to get a closer look, but the look in my wifes eyes we're deadly. So I watvched from afar. Then another woman got totally nude and danced on the small dance floor, doing a very sexual dance with the brass pole, I didn't utter a sound and tried to watch without making it too noticable, but as soon as the woman began to do her thing, my wife appeard to want to block my view and I felt uncomfortable, it was as if she took us there to tease me, to let me see what fgoes on at a club, but not let me see, as if she was desparate to keep me focused on just her and forget where we were??? That was about 6 months ago.
Then she gets upset with me if I check the accounts and has made it clear that I am not to do this unless she's right there. So with our work schedule the accounts don't get ckecked to often, but on Christmas day after our guests left I went to the computer and checked our accounts, she flew off the handle and shouted at me that "why do you have to check those accounts on OUR holiday" and something to the effect of that she can't have a normal day without this invading her life" and got told the same thing when I check the accounts on her b'day.
I made a mistake of checking those accounts on her b'day, and an even bigger mistake when I went to the adult store and bought a few porno's for her b'day, she's wasn't upset at my gift, she was upset that I forgot to get her a card. So in my attempt to do some damage control me and my 12 yr old step son decorated the house (inside n out) on that Sunday while she was work, we bought her a card, made a homemade cake, made the dinner, bought her a few gifts (none sexual) it smoothed things over and life was back on track.
Then while we were out doing some shopping, we were looking at some digital cameras and she made a comment about the size and how small it was and then a gesture about how it could fit between her breasts and laughingly said how it could be snuck into the club. I felt like; cool, she wants to go back, so I didn't bring it up again, then a few weeks later we were in the Mall and she saw a cute skirt and wanted to stop and check it out, and while we were there I jokingly asked "a clubing skirt?" and her reply was ; Maybe or could be.
So once again I left it at that. Then like I said in my post she brings up the subject of going to the club, but with the same rules.
Even though I'd like the whole package I've told her many times that I'm happy with what she feels comfortable with, if she doesn't want touching, fine, if she's only comfortable being watched, then ok, I'm not the 'all or nothing' type, and having a little is better then getting none.
I feel that even though I try not bring it up, she knows I still want to explore it and is trying to give me what I want while keeping herself and our relationship free from harm.
My wife is wonderful, and everything I never knew I deserved in life and do not want to be withot her, but she's the clasic 'over-do-er' always thinking of others before herself. That's what makes her happy, but in her quest to make me happy and give me what I want, it's tearing her apart at the seams. seeing her standing there doing dishes with quiet tears falling down her cheek just to make me happy.
In retrospect, Yes I want this, but not at this cost, so do I stay happy with what she's giving me (making me a taker) or tell her I'm no longer interested when she brings the subect up.... (making me a liar)
thanks,
F.
Quote:
Originally posted by Alura
If she's really wants to go back to the club, I see no reason not to. Make love to her and let other people watch. That may be a turn-on for her, too.
But if she is only doing it for you, you should not. The most important thing for you to do is to find out how she really feels. Yes, it's important that you talk to her, but it's even more important that you listen to her.
Mr. Alura |