[frenchie]

hiya and thanks for the warm welcome.

This is the male half, mid 40's, average looks, but female half thinks I'm a stud. LOL. What they say? Love is blind? LOL

ok I guess you can tell I'm nervous, normal?

I've always been what I considered to be very sexual and passionate, my first wife was a low drive to no drive and it always always felt like I was lacking in love, attention, and starved for sex all the time, move ahead, eventually divorced, met my current wife (online of all places), fell maddly and passionatly toe tickling inlove with her, she's fun, very sexual, passionate, she is always looking for ways to please me and I gobble it up. Gready huh? LOL

I've always had this secret desire to try swinging, just the mental thought is so exciting, I kept my secret to myself during my first marraige due to the fact she had no interest in sex or me.

The beautiful woman I am married to now is so sexual, sensual, passionate, with a mouth that was just made for my &^%$. She is so sexual and would love nothing more but to never get out of bed. LOL.

So considering she is so sexual and loves sex, I told her about my secret desire once while we were dating, and she seemed kind of blasay about it, again considering she is so damn ready at the drop of a pin and now that were officially married, I brought up my secret once more, but more seriously, this time there was nothing blasay with her reaction. She literly became unglued, unhinged, distraught, some pretty serious arguments erupted over my secret, I made a few threats about wanting this, with or without her, (bad thing) but after some time passed, she seemed to be getting more ok with the idea, we began reading whatever we could, we took a few swinger tests (online) we talked about what I wanted, what turned her on, what we could handle, not handle, etc... the more she seemed ok about trying this, the more excited I got at the prospect of sharing this sexual woman.



After some nudging we met several couples, attended a few house parties and a club once, all the above just keeping to ourselves, then after more nudging, we tryed a MMF combo with my wife as the center of attention, everything seemed ok, she was definatly turned on during, the fire inside her was on full tilt, after, her thoughts about the event got the better of her, she began breaking down at work, going to the rest room and crying to the point of having to leave work, we're new to this area and I know she has no one to talk to (female friends she can trust) now sh e feels like she's betrayed me adn our marriage and has informed me that if I still want this, then I have to be ok with what she can offer, which is the bare bones min, no others in a physical form, no touching, etc... all I'm offered is live porn when I want the whole package.

I know about my wifes sexual history, she confided in me from the beginning about being raped at 14 by her brothers freind, the 2 male cousins that molested her as a teenager, how she was never unfaithful to her ex husband who was unfaithful. I am her 3rd real sexual partner (not counting the rape)

I love my wife and want to swing with erh, what can I do to make her get over her feelings of regret, betrayal and grief over what we have done together, I have told her over n over that I don't see what we have done as any form of betrayal, but I can't get that into her head.

I want more then live porn, but I want my wife to be truly ok with what we do and have done.

I'll take all the help and sugjestions I can get.

thanks,
F