I'm sorry to hear your first experience didn't go well, Txnewbies. My first impression is that things may have progressed too quickly and, yes, you may have made a mistake by analyzing your feelings during play.
Still, it seems both you and your husband may not have laid the proper groundwork before the event. Did you discuss how "heavy" the kissing should be allowed to be?
Since then, have you told him that you would like him to kiss you more passionately? One of the best benefits of swinging is to learn how to make your own sex life better.
Fortunately, the others respected your feelings enough to stop when you expressed your discomfort. That's a big plus on the road to understanding between you and your husband. Some men might have continued, citing testosterone as the reason.
I think the answer is the same as most problems in swinging. Communication between you and your husband. You must make him understand that he needs to listen to you and really understand your feelings.
On the other hand, you must be sure to understand his.
In my opinion, the most important aspect of swinging is to be able to separate the act of "making love" from the acts of sex. Know that no matter how hot things get, love is not being shared. It is important that both of you assure the other constantly that this is not the case.
I'd also be interested to know how y'all met this lady and what was agreed to with her prior to the event. Perhaps she didn't know your feelings.
Mr. Alura
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