I'm going to be the fly in the ointment here.
First of all, he ask a really valid question. It's just as difficult for a loving man/woman to bring up a subject as radical as swinging. As it would be to ask, if your spouse would mind holding the wrong end of a loaded shotgun, while you clean it.
Swinging IS radical, for about 85% of the world!! And, he has no real way of knowing what her reaction will be.
His problem is two-fold. #1 He doesn't want to hurt her feelings, by making her think he is looking for someone else. And, she may take it that way!
#2 He has to explain "soft" swing to her. So she can understand what he is asking. To a layman, there is no differance between softswing or full swap.
Personally, I wouldn't bring it up during sex. I would bring it up at some other time. The bottom line is, he will have to communicate his desire. And, possibly explain his intentions in depth. If he gets a NO with no chance to explain. Then he is pretty much done with it there.
If he gets a yes. Then he can explain further, thereby allowed her to make a more educated opinion/answer.
I say, ask her flat out THEN if you get a "Let me think about it" or "Maybe" Send her here to this site to dig around, and learn more. She can get a lot of questions answered on this one site.
Your largest battle will be with a maybe. Then her flat out refusal to acknowledge you ever brought the subject up. If this happens. You'll remain part of that 85% I spoke of earlier.
This isn't a lifestyle choice that comes easy, for any of us. And we're all very aware of the problems associated with this lifestyle. And don't come back with,
"We don't have any problems!" unless your entire family and the people at work know all about it
[ 01-13-2002: Message edited by: danc694u ]