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Originally posted by NewBiFem
...BUT I have an ex-husband who still lives with me. We are in the middle of a divorce- he is supposed to move out this spring when he will take a job out of state, but he's still here... the papers aren't signed... I'm not technically free.
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Technically your husband is not your 'ex-husband'. Therefore you are in the eyes of the law and ours, married....and still attached as he lives in the home with you.
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I would love to tell him- look, I'm going out, mind your own business, but, of course, I have to be "sneaky," so he doesn't find out and tell my family and friends- or WORSE, try to take my children away!!!
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This statement really gives me concern. First and foremost, your children should be the most important people in your life, especially now. It is difficult enough for them to endure the separation of their parents, much less bearing witness to your hiding and sneaking around. And believe me, they can pick up on it. Your children did not ask to be born and you do have the responsibility as a parent to insure the smoothest transistion in their formative years as much as possible which includes putting your social life on hold until that transistion has been successfully made. You became committed from the first born until they turned 18 years old, the day you made the choice to have children. Your responsibility to your husband may have ceased, but the ones to your children have not. It's not to say that you can't have a life, but it will differ from your years of being childless.
Would I call your situation cheating? Not in the traditional sense of one spouse cheating on the other, due to your stated situation, however... You are cheating your children. That in my opinion is lower than those that 'step out' on their significant others, be it married or not.
End result... No, we would even consider playing with you, given the known situation.