I think that we need to accept the fact that generalizing things is really only good in theory.
If you walked up and said, "I am cheating on my husband", then - IN THEORY - I'd say, "I have a moralistic problem with that." But - let's be real. Single bi-females are at a premium in the lifestyle. Mrs Spoo might find you attractive - I might find you attractive - and there go the rules...
Of course - you could simply say, "I'm divorced" - which is true in spirit, if not in paper and frankly it isn't our damn business who is sleeping on your couch
Yours is a much more involved story than the typical (stereo-typical) guy/gal who is stepping out. In your case, I would think that we aren't exactly comparing apples to apples... Just do what you have to do to make sure you keep those babies!!!
This post is Mrs Spoomonkey approved
Spoomonkey