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Spoomonkey · 02-10-2004, 05:14 PM

Alura

To steal from a Guiness commercial... "Brilliant!" Thanks for explaining. It is the perfect term for what we are talking about, and I think I finally figured out the difference between inter- and intra-...

And I don't have any more college debt hanging over me for it!!

Brilliant!

As for Melaswen's post - I appreciate what you are saying, but think you miss a major part of the "cheater" equation; the one being cheated on. Now, Shaheena has done a great job of pointing out that we need to be aware that some folks cheat for reasons other than just being scum - and while it may, in fact, be a theorectical "kindness" to screw these fellas back to happy-ville, thus helping preserve their marriages - this isn't always, or even often the case, IMHO. When someone cheats there is neccessarily someone else involved - the one being cheated on.

You're right - it does go back to things we've learned or been taught - in this case, "do unto others..." I wouldn't want Mrs. Spoomonkey playing around - if we had a problem, I would want to deal with it together. Someone cheating with her would take away my right to do that...

A single man is only maligned when he forgets his place as - to use another brilliant phrase from this board - "stunt cock." But for the most part, if a couple is into single men, they will play with them. It just makes sense to swing with someone who doesn't have issues that should be dealt with at home.

What I have noticed about many couples in the lifestyle (not all, mind you) is that they are very happily married - could easily drop out of the lifestyle and be very happy with their spouse - talk with each other about everything and aren't looking for anything in the lifestyle other than shared experiences with their soulmate. Most people like this aren't going to relate to a cheater - it is tough enough to relate to a single male.

It really isn't the case of "picking on the dregs." And I doubt we are all really looking for the same thing. There are issues that are intensely personal, moral and ethical - and while each couple/person is going to define those things for themselves - each couple/person would be wise to stick tight to any convictions they have that will help them navigate the wild world that swinging can be.

Just a thought

Spoomonkey

02-10-2004, 05:14 PM	#24 (permalink)
Spoomonkey Chimpin' Ain't Easy Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 6,739 Location: Ohio Status: Married Monkeys - will you be our vine? Swing Lifestyle Name:Spoomonkey	Inter... Intra... Owww... Alura To steal from a Guiness commercial... "Brilliant!" Thanks for explaining. It is the perfect term for what we are talking about, and I think I finally figured out the difference between inter- and intra-... And I don't have any more college debt hanging over me for it!! Brilliant! As for Melaswen's post - I appreciate what you are saying, but think you miss a major part of the "cheater" equation; the one being cheated on. Now, Shaheena has done a great job of pointing out that we need to be aware that some folks cheat for reasons other than just being scum - and while it may, in fact, be a theorectical "kindness" to screw these fellas back to happy-ville, thus helping preserve their marriages - this isn't always, or even often the case, IMHO. When someone cheats there is neccessarily someone else involved - the one being cheated on. You're right - it does go back to things we've learned or been taught - in this case, "do unto others..." I wouldn't want Mrs. Spoomonkey playing around - if we had a problem, I would want to deal with it together. Someone cheating with her would take away my right to do that... A single man is only maligned when he forgets his place as - to use another brilliant phrase from this board - "stunt cock." But for the most part, if a couple is into single men, they will play with them. It just makes sense to swing with someone who doesn't have issues that should be dealt with at home. What I have noticed about many couples in the lifestyle (not all, mind you) is that they are very happily married - could easily drop out of the lifestyle and be very happy with their spouse - talk with each other about everything and aren't looking for anything in the lifestyle other than shared experiences with their soulmate. Most people like this aren't going to relate to a cheater - it is tough enough to relate to a single male. It really isn't the case of "picking on the dregs." And I doubt we are all really looking for the same thing. There are issues that are intensely personal, moral and ethical - and while each couple/person is going to define those things for themselves - each couple/person would be wise to stick tight to any convictions they have that will help them navigate the wild world that swinging can be. Just a thought Spoomonkey