LYTD
I completely agree. Cheating sucks - but I've been there. It would be great to say that the "cheater" side of me is dead, but I'm in the lifestyle with a wonderful wife and partner - so how will I know? I mean, extramarital sex is a part of this lifestyle.
I can say this - you are right on the money about finding the right person. Sure - many cheaters are just looking for sex on the side. But a lot of people, I believe, are looking for initmacy, physical attention, passion, even love that is being deprived at home.
For me - I have found my soulmate. She is an insatiable sex machine who happens to be quite open minded. She is the best I have ever been with physically, emotionally, passionately... Does that mean that she is the hand's-down, put a patent on it and write a book, best ever lover? I know I am completey biased and wouldn't see a flaw in her if it bit me on the neck. That is what makes our connection so incredible, and our love so complete. If I ever had the desire to play with someone, why would I need to cheat to do it?
I also agree with Shaheena - not all motivation in cheating is all bad. We just wouldn't want to be a part of someone else's "end of the marriage." We'd rather play with a recently divorced guy than one who hasn't gotten the balls to admit that it is time to move on.
And just to clarify my earlier post - I did take advantage of the rare bi-fem encounter. Knowing myself, the way I do - and the lifestyle the way I do - I'd probably do it again. However, I'm not particularly proud of myself for it. Just wanting to make sure that my "sterling ethics" don't over-shadow the dirty truth
Spoomonkey