[EternallySingle]

In a perfect world, when a new person or couple entered a club, especially a private setting like a swing club, the regulars would take the time to get to know them. That is perfect. Real life isn't.

My only successful experiences at swing clubs were in Oregon and Washington state, and I know why. All three clubs were close enough to the military bases that the regulars were used to new people showing up. One thing you learn in the military is how to keep secrets, both military secrets and secrets of your personal life. Since most of the long-time regulars had years of experience dealing with military people, they knew the new people were not likely to tell anyone except other swingers what was going on and that they wouldn't tell anyone who was there.

That made it much easier for someone to trust you enough to walk up and say hello. When you don't have that institute of trust built into your community, everyone has they "stick to who you know and ignore everyone else until they either go away or prove they are not going to rat you out to everyone" mentality. It not their fault and they are not being rude. They are just protecting their reputations by not associating with "wild cards".

As a single man that hit me in the face hard, and prompted me to reevaluate everything I thought about the lifestyle while involved with women. New couples are wild cards. You don't know anything about them and you can't learn anything about them without revealing things about yourself. That is unnerving, especially in American society where sex is exciting because it is something dirty, forbidden, and not to be shared with anyone if you can help it.

It is everyone's responsibility to introduce themselves to people they don't know. You just have to decide how much you want to reveal and how you want to approach them. Once you get it out of your mind that everyone is out to get you, it is much easier to meet people, no matter what the situation.