L&D,
I guess I don't really understand why you would feel guilty if there is no emotional involvement with the people you play with and you are not doing anything behind your spouse's back.
In a swinging relationship you are supposed to have the blessing and encouragement of your spouse to do whatever is within your agreed upon boundaries.
You must be able to separate between sex and making love.
Our swinging lifestyle is kept totally separate from any other part of our life. We have sex with other people, we DO NOT make love to them. We can both honestly say that neither of us have ever felt jealous or guilty about anything we have ever done.
The only way I can see me ever feeling guilty about anything we do in the lifestyle would be if I was keeping something from Ted. As we all know, honest communication is the major key in any relationship, especially a swinging relationship.
I do not keep things from Ted nor he from me, and we do not go over any bounderies that we have set, so therefore, no jealousy or guilt. How could I feel guilty about doing something that he has encouraged me to do and given me his blessing as well?
If the problems stem from the fact that there is a little voice inside your head saying "This is wrong, this is not the way marriage is suppose to be", then I encourage you to think outside the box. There is no right or wrong way to think, it is all a matter of the way you perceive things.
If you truly believe that there is nothing bad, wrong or immoral about the lifestyle, and you are not going against anything you and your spouse have agreed upon, then there really should not be any guilty feelings.
Teresa
P.S.
Alura, "Stranger in a Strange Land" is a great book, another one is "Time Enough for Love". Both will open your eyes to a whole new way of thinking about sex and love
