We agree with the previous posts but believe you should address the roots of the problems.
If jealously is a problem, that is probably a fear that one of you will "fall in love" with a playmate and leave. Once you assure the other that will not happen, this problem should abate.
Guilt may be more difficult to address since it is likely to be deeply embedded in your psyches as a result of religious indoctrination. If this is the case, you might want to study some history as well as the bible. Some important historical truths that may help are:
Sex was not considered a sin until Saul of Tarsus renamed himself Saint Paul and took it upon himself to deride it. It was not because he was particularly against sex, just that he felt the end was near and anything distracting from religious devotion was to be avoided. The power-hungry "Bloody Popes" of the Middle Ages added to the attitude that sex was sinful.
Jesus never spoke against sex. Some historians believe he had a lasting relationship with Mary Magdelene. Who knows? Sex didn't seem to be an important issue with him.
The bible was assembled under Constantine when he declared Christianity the official Roman religion, some 200 years after Jesus' death.
If you'd like to explore a different take on the subject of spiritual sexuality, you might consider reading the novel "Stranger in a Strange Land." (How do you underline, Julie?) You'll probably have to find it in a used book store. It's a wonderful read, even if you decide in the end that it's ridiculous. Be sure to get the unexpurgated version.
Neither of us is a history major. We'll call upon Quin to jump in here and add to or correct what we have written.
We do believe that if you are able to resolve these issues to both your satisfaction, you will not only have more fun swinging but will find your own marriage greatly enhanced and your ability to communicate far beyond anything you've ever dreamed of. If not, we'd suggest giving up swinging.
Alura
[ 08-15-2002, 03:31 PM: Message edited by: Alura ] |