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OhioCouple · 08-15-2002, 11:13 AM

quote:
Originally posted by TasteeKat:
And for us, we jumped straight in the deep end (as you called it) but we had already covered the issues.

We too jumped straight into the "deep end" and like you we had discussed and resolved all these issues among others, prior to doing so. We also spent several years discussing it before taking the "plunge". I think I can speak on behalf of both myself and my husband here, I do not think that jealousy or guilt has ever been a factor for either of us although we did have an insecurity issue...on his part not mine, which we have since resolved thru communication and understanding.

L&D, another thing you may want to ponder is the fact that not having your own personal issues resolved is that you may inadvertantly cause hurt to others who do not know or understand that you haven't done so. Judging from your post you seem to do fine in the "heat" of the moment, but one or the other suffers regret afterwards.

Most people that we have met who swing tend to enjoy and look forward to meeting or associating with them again, but it appears that when the after glow wears off for you some really potent (sp) emotions take over. Most swingers, and this is coming from just what I have seen, have ALL (and yes I meant to shout that) their P's and Q's in check before including anyone into their private sexual lives.

Take a step back, resolve your issues and then decide if this is something you really both want to do. This lifestyle, in my eyes, is not about just sex, it is about enhancing an already strong and stable relationship, not destroying it.

Lori

[ 08-15-2002, 11:57 AM: Message edited by: OhioCouple ]

08-15-2002, 11:13 AM	#6 (permalink)
OhioCouple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 6,619 Location: Ohio Status: Married Female	quote: Originally posted by TasteeKat: And for us, we jumped straight in the deep end (as you called it) but we had already covered the issues. We too jumped straight into the "deep end" and like you we had discussed and resolved all these issues among others, prior to doing so. We also spent several years discussing it before taking the "plunge". I think I can speak on behalf of both myself and my husband here, I do not think that jealousy or guilt has ever been a factor for either of us although we did have an insecurity issue...on his part not mine, which we have since resolved thru communication and understanding. L&D, another thing you may want to ponder is the fact that not having your own personal issues resolved is that you may inadvertantly cause hurt to others who do not know or understand that you haven't done so. Judging from your post you seem to do fine in the "heat" of the moment, but one or the other suffers regret afterwards. Most people that we have met who swing tend to enjoy and look forward to meeting or associating with them again, but it appears that when the after glow wears off for you some really potent (sp) emotions take over. Most swingers, and this is coming from just what I have seen, have ALL (and yes I meant to shout that) their P's and Q's in check before including anyone into their private sexual lives. Take a step back, resolve your issues and then decide if this is something you really both want to do. This lifestyle, in my eyes, is not about just sex, it is about enhancing an already strong and stable relationship, not destroying it. Lori [ 08-15-2002, 11:57 AM: Message edited by: OhioCouple ]
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