[OhioCouple]

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Originally posted by L & D:
We have only been swinging for three months and while we probably jumped into "full swap" a bit to quickly, neither or us want to go back to soft-swing or end swinging all together, we just enjoy it toooo much!

However, two problems don't seem to be getting any better. One is Jealousy and the other is Guilt. They are both way too complex for one thread so I will start with Guilt because while the jealousy is almost entirely one sided (just Ding), guilt effects us both but in slightly different ways.

During our meetings with other couples, Ding is completely uninhibited. At the club dances she loves to flirt, flash, dirty dance, even perform oral on guys and gals she barely knows. At an "after-party" she once took on three men and a woman at one time and experienced 20 orgasms in the process. But after the encounters, sometimes days later, she becomes riddled with guilt.

On the other hand I have pangs of guilt while at the orgies. Sometimes I believe it has effected my performance. After the fact I am able to rationalize the guilt away and it doesn't bother me. It's a good thing I "get over it" so I can be supportive of my wife who sometimes becomes quite depressed. Our participation in the lifestyle is beginning to look an awful lot like an addiction. We enjoy the sex so much but then there is that letdown and questioning... then it is time for another party and the next thing you know Ding is giving a lap-dance and I have my head between some girl's thighs and we both end the evening fulfilling some long held fantasy in wild abandon.

Anybody else experience such a roller coaster ride? Does it get better? The sex keeps getting better and better but I am getting a little worried about Ding's mood swings. One thing I might note. While Ding is often mistaken for someone half her age and usually gets "carded" at clubs, she is at "that age" and it could be a hormonal thing.

Any comments or suggestions? Especially would like to hear from people who have been through this same sort of thing.

Thanks

<small>[ 08-14-2002, 10:03 PM: Message edited by: L & D ]</small>

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L&D,

I don't profess to be an expert here, but it sounds to me as if you two need to take three steps back. Judging from all of your previous posts it seems as tho you guys have plunged into the deep end rather than wade thru the shallow waters first. Jealousy and guilt are powerful emotions and can destroy a relationship. Perhaps the question that you should ask yourselves is "Are we willing to let this destroy our marriage or relationship?".

Based on my own personal experiences, my husband and I had these issues resolved before we ever participated in any sexual activity with others. Sure we have run into a few bumps here and there, but have never had to address an outright jealousy or guilt issue.

I would suggest taking a break for a while and having a "heart to heart", to address and resolve these issues with each other before participating in any other sort of swing activity.

Lori