Mr. Twoloves,
From reading this post (can't believe I missed it in July), I don't put much faith in your two options.
1) You can't forbid her to see this guy. You've got divorce papers drawn up, she's told you it will change her feelings for you, etc. and you really think forbidding her will work?
2) The compromise from her just delays things while she makes up her mind about what she wants to do about your marriage. I've never heard of anyone saying "just let me see them a few more times and I'll stop." It's kind of like masturbating, if it feels that good, are you really gonna stop even if you say you will?
I wish the outcome were better than I think it's going to be, but unfortunately, you both opened Pandora's box up, and it appears very difficult to close it now. From reading your story, it sounds as if your wife is a bit selfish or doesn't value the marriage that much as compared to swinging episodes with this guy.
She has definitely departed from the "go as slow as the slowest one wants to go" theory and the "setting boundaries" theory. I really do wish you luck. I'm afraid you'll need lots of it if you choose to stay, and I hope you can work it out rather than toss out 25 years of marriage. |