It sounds to me like the problem is between the two of THEM, and you should leave it there. Of course, it's too late now right? You've already been dragged into the middle of it, but you don't have to stay there.
Based on what you said she told you, chances are she has not been really interested in swinging all along or perhaps it's not that she really isn't interested in swinging at all (based on her comment about settling for just one couple). I'd really say she just doesn't like doing it SO MUCH.
Maybe he is pushing her to do it more than she likes. If they are meeting new couples on such a regular basis she could be feeling pressured and perhaps she wants to back away and enjoy other things in life besides swinging.
The fact that she confided these things in you, leads me to believe that you may be her choice for a couple she would like to continue with, but that may not be the case as well.
All that said.... My advice, seperate yourself from this couple. If they have problems don't make them yours. The fact that this lifestyle may not be right for them or maybe they took it too far has nothing to do with you. I have found that often when we have friends who are having problems in their relationships it tends to make us look more closely at our own and worry. That can be a good thing but it can also be a bad thing if you let it create problems that don't exist. Only you know if you are truely happy with this lifestyle and only you know what goes on behind closed doors in your home when it's just the two of you.
A couple can look perfect to the outside world but we don't see them when they are alone so we can't know what their relationship is really like.
When your friend calls, my advice is to tell her that you don't feel you should be placed in the middle of this. The best thing she can do is talk ot her hubby. The more she talks to other people instead of him the more of a grudge she will hold against him for pushing her to do something she doesn't want to do. If you want to keep them in your life, let her know that you are there for THEM and if the two of them want someone to talk to to help them get their feelings out you'd be glad to help but you don't feel it's appropriate for her to talk to you about these things without him knowing.
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