What was it I read in the info for new swingers?? - Communicate, Communicate, Communicate.
The one thing I have found is that you need to have open and honest communication with your partner about anything and everything. It sounds as if the female half of this couple hasn't been communicating her real wants and desires, and is therefore unhappy.
I can't give any advice regarding the swinging aspect, but the lack of communication in the relationship seems to be a bigger issue than any problems with swinging. The husband (and you) thought everything was fine, because she didn't communicate her problems. If she doesn't communicate them to her husband, he can never help her reach a point where she is comfortable (whether it is swinging, or not, married, divorced, etc...).
We men are rather simplistic sometimes in that if someone doesn't tell us there is a problem, we think all is right in the world.
She needs to talk to her husband, openly and honestly, and see where it leads them. If he truly loves her and wants a caring nuturing relationship with her, it may mean they will no longer swing, or they may resolve the issue some other way. But if he doesn't know about it, he can't help.....
S
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