The Swingers Board - View Single Post - Found out female of couple we swing with is only doing it for him

OhioCouple · 07-18-2002, 11:54 PM

We are at a total loss of words for this and not sure what to say, but we definitely need some advice as quickly as possible.

It is probably best to just lay the facts on the table.

~We are new swingers (less than a year). Our first couple that we were with and continue to swing with has several years (guessing somewhere between 3 and 5).

~We prefer to have a friendship with those that we swing with. We have a lot of outside factors in common with this couple. We have maintained an ongoing friendship both in and out of the bedroom.

For the last several weeks, through IM/email contact with both of them, it was apparent that something was up.

Tonight the F half confided in us that she was only doing "this" for her husband and that she wanted to stop all together. This really shocked us as he seems to be the one who really loves to see her pleased. They never gave this impression at anytime that we have been with them or talked with them, although when I look back some signs were there. (Where do you draw the line).

She relayed that she would be willing to "settle" for just one couple with a bi-female. They currently keep themselves booked about twice a week with new couples or singles. (We did not know this until about 2 weeks ago.) She begged us not to let her husband know that she had told us this. We told her she needed to talk to him....and fast! (We didn't know what to say...besides being stunned...We don't have enough experience to offer good advice.)

I Lori am pulling my hair out here! We are both discouraged by the fact that we thought they were secure in the lifestyle (in all aspects) only to find out that they clearly are not. She is supposed to call us when her husband will be out of town next week so she can talk with us about it. We think she should be talking with her husband and not us.

They are both very nice people, we do not want to hurt their feelings. What do we say?

Top that off with the fact that we are now questioning whether or not we want to continue in this lifestyle, as we believed they were comfortable and secure in the lifestyle and we are wondering now if it will kill our own relationship a few years down the road. We are not willing to do that. UGGGGHHHHH!

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks
Lori and Gene

07-18-2002, 11:54 PM	#1 (permalink)
OhioCouple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 6,619 Location: Ohio Status: Married Female	Found out female of couple we swing with is only doing it for him We are at a total loss of words for this and not sure what to say, but we definitely need some advice as quickly as possible. It is probably best to just lay the facts on the table. ~We are new swingers (less than a year). Our first couple that we were with and continue to swing with has several years (guessing somewhere between 3 and 5). ~We prefer to have a friendship with those that we swing with. We have a lot of outside factors in common with this couple. We have maintained an ongoing friendship both in and out of the bedroom. For the last several weeks, through IM/email contact with both of them, it was apparent that something was up. Tonight the F half confided in us that she was only doing "this" for her husband and that she wanted to stop all together. This really shocked us as he seems to be the one who really loves to see her pleased. They never gave this impression at anytime that we have been with them or talked with them, although when I look back some signs were there. (Where do you draw the line). She relayed that she would be willing to "settle" for just one couple with a bi-female. They currently keep themselves booked about twice a week with new couples or singles. (We did not know this until about 2 weeks ago.) She begged us not to let her husband know that she had told us this. We told her she needed to talk to him....and fast! (We didn't know what to say...besides being stunned...We don't have enough experience to offer good advice.) I Lori am pulling my hair out here! We are both discouraged by the fact that we thought they were secure in the lifestyle (in all aspects) only to find out that they clearly are not. She is supposed to call us when her husband will be out of town next week so she can talk with us about it. We think she should be talking with her husband and not us. They are both very nice people, we do not want to hurt their feelings. What do we say? Top that off with the fact that we are now questioning whether or not we want to continue in this lifestyle, as we believed they were comfortable and secure in the lifestyle and we are wondering now if it will kill our own relationship a few years down the road. We are not willing to do that. UGGGGHHHHH! Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks Lori and Gene
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