I agree with you Laura, in terms of meeting people in person, although I have found that sometimes after talking to people on the phone, I know immediately I don't want to meet them for any reason, anywhere. I can't necessarily say where those feelings come from, but when I know, I know.
I don't go to clubs so my choices in terms of actually meeting people are the typical restaurant type situations. And then, there I sit...trying to make nice when all along I'm thinking I just want outta here! Being single may have something to do with it.
But back to ES's concerns...these people are in Germany, apparently, so the idea of meeting is moot. And they, traveling the distance to the US, are probably working on limited time and are wanting to set something up before they come. Personally, I can't imagine going to a foreign country and trying to find my way around to meet someone. But that's me. I don't do too well in my own town!
ES is looking for the same "respect" and "courtesy" that he is constantly told single men need to afford to couples and apparently it isn't being returned...and maybe making him feel as if he has been "labeled" before he even got out of the gate. Too, maybe they are just both sitting there looking at each other askew and with all these preconceived ideas.
What has always worked for me best (knock on wood!) is simply my gut feelings about things. I've made allowances here and there, and sometimes not. All based upon my gut. Not real scientific, is it. None of us know all the facts of the e-mails and communications, but given all circumstances, there is a possibility I would cut them some slack since they are in Germany, traveling here, etc. Hard to say without knowing all details.
Whatever happens...I hope it works out for ES. Seems as if he's making a sincere effort to level the playing field, and I would suspect he definitely is treating them with courtesy. Sorta his nature...
- EBF
